This is your first real relationship so I am assuming you have never experienced being cheated on in YOUR relationships but what about those around you? Are your parents still together or was there any infidelity involved?
Many times when those we love have been hurt we turn their experience into our own and we fear that we will someday be hurt like they have. If this is not the case with you-- what are you afraid of? Being left alone? change? If so, I think this requires a deeper level of help than what I can offer you online. What is important is that you have recognized that you are jealous-- which is HUGE. Many people go their lives living in denial about their jealous acts and in order to help yourself, you've taken an important first step.
Has there been anything that your boyfriend has said or done (besides being friendly) that has triggered you to "check up on him"? I know men look at pretty women, it is almost something they can't help-- heck, if I noticed a beautiful woman I am sure my husband has noticed her as well. It is entirely normal and the same can go for women-- you will notice a strikingly handsome man but you don't think about leaving your boyfriend for him, do you? It's just eye candy and nothing more. I am sure your boyfriend can think of many reasons why he is with you and not a single guy on the hunt for pretty girls.
It is easier said than done, but in a relationship it is important to trust. I say this because just as it is frustrating to you to be a jealous person it becomes a burden on your partner. The constant feeling of being with someone who is always taking notes at every glance, step, or word that comes out of your mouth is a very incarcerating and suffocating feeling for someone. Don't let a perfectly good relationship spoil over an insecurity that may be stemmed from nothing.
If you feel like you cannot seem to control the urge to check his phone, email, etc. perhaps seeking professional help would be the best thing both for you and your boyfriend to save your relationship.
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Leanne,
This is your first real relationship so I am assuming you have never experienced being cheated on in YOUR relationships but what about those around you? Are your parents still together or was there any infidelity involved?
Many times when those we love have been hurt we turn their experience into our own and we fear that we will someday be hurt like they have. If this is not the case with you-- what are you afraid of? Being left alone? change? If so, I think this requires a deeper level of help than what I can offer you online. What is important is that you have recognized that you are jealous-- which is HUGE. Many people go their lives living in denial about their jealous acts and in order to help yourself, you've taken an important first step.
Has there been anything that your boyfriend has said or done (besides being friendly) that has triggered you to "check up on him"? I know men look at pretty women, it is almost something they can't help-- heck, if I noticed a beautiful woman I am sure my husband has noticed her as well. It is entirely normal and the same can go for women-- you will notice a strikingly handsome man but you don't think about leaving your boyfriend for him, do you? It's just eye candy and nothing more. I am sure your boyfriend can think of many reasons why he is with you and not a single guy on the hunt for pretty girls.
It is easier said than done, but in a relationship it is important to trust. I say this because just as it is frustrating to you to be a jealous person it becomes a burden on your partner. The constant feeling of being with someone who is always taking notes at every glance, step, or word that comes out of your mouth is a very incarcerating and suffocating feeling for someone. Don't let a perfectly good relationship spoil over an insecurity that may be stemmed from nothing.
If you feel like you cannot seem to control the urge to check his phone, email, etc. perhaps seeking professional help would be the best thing both for you and your boyfriend to save your relationship.
February 19, 2010 - 7:22amThis Comment
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