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ElleJay,

I hate to be negative about relationships because I do think many things can be worked out but in your case, it seems as it is time to move on. From what you say he is not very interested in pleasing you at all-- whether it is sexually or emotionally. Just because on paper he appears to be a catch, doesn't mean he is one.

You have put up with a lot because of your parents' living arrangement. With all due respect, that's no way of living and many older generations deal with it because of their vows and upbringing-- not because they are in love and that does not make it right.

When you try to talk to your boyfriend and he says "life is not a romance novel" absolutely not, it's absurd to even compare the two but that doesn't mean that you should not be happy in a relationship. Your relationship seems to have taken a few steps back and just continues to move backward instead of forward. If there will be no communication on his part, you seem to be a perfectly capable woman to make it on your own. Nice gifts? Nice car? all superficial things that either you can buy yourself or someone in the future can provide for you-- they, as you can see, do not provide happiness in a relationship. Being respectful most of the time doesn't cut it either; there should be no reason for disrespect and based on your story, he seems arrogant and your relationship one-sided.

I think if you take the time to sit down, read your own story, and realize that you are young and you will find someone who values you and gives you the love you deserve the answer will be pretty simple. Don't expect for things not to change from the beginning of your relationship, they always do. But make sure that the change is manageable and that love, trust, and respect are all still there.

February 19, 2010 - 7:53am

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