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I have read a few of your articles and I really enjoy ur insights. I think you have very good and logical advice. Which is why I am leaving this comment, in hopes for some advice from you. It is kind of similar to this topic.

The problem is that my boyfriend does not want to have sex with me anymore. We have been dating for 2 years now and in the beginning we had a great sex life. He made me feel like I was so sexy and desirable and now its like pulling teeth to get him to have sex with me. And its not even that im super horny or anything its just that I long to share that intimacy with the one I love. I have mentioned the problem to him and told him how him rejecting me all the time makes me feel like he isnt attracted to me anymore, like im undesirable and not sexy. It really cuts down my self esteem. He always assures me that it is not me at all and that he still finds me very sexy and that he loves me and its just because he is very stressed out and is not in the mood. I try and understand what he is going through too but no matter how much he tells me it isnt me, It doesnt make me feel any better about myself.

This article you wrote remided me of this problem because my best friend just got a new boyfriend and he is a great guy that me and another friend actually set her up with. She seems really happy and I am SOOOO happy for her. Especially because she has had a string of bad relationships. So im totally excited for her, however last week her and her new guy were over at me and my boyfriends place just hanging out drinking whatever. She starts talking about how her and her boyfriend are having all kinds of amazing animal sex constantly every night, which is great for her. However she knew that my boyfriend and I were having these problems and she just kept going on and on about it not even thinking about how it was making me feel. If that were the end of it I could deal with it, but then she turned to my boyfriend and straight up just asked him if he was going to f**k me that night. I dont know what would encourage her to say something like that to my boyfriend when she knew we were having problems in that area. It made me so mad because of course my boyfriend didnt know what to say so I just very quickly changed the subject thinking that would give her the hint. Well no such luck, as she left she made almost the same comment, saying to my boyfriend how he better be having sex with me that night. I confronted her and she said she wouldnt do it again but it just still makes me angry. Just because she is having all kinds of amazing sex doesnt mean she needs to put it in my face so much and especially not bring me and my relationship in it like she was comparing or something.

Anyways that was just a story relating to your article and my problem but the advice Im asking you for is what do I do about my boyfriend? Everytime I bring up the issue we talk about it and there is a nice change, we will start to have sex a little more often. However this only last for 1-2 weeks and then back to no sex. Its just starting to get me really down on myself and the other day I tried to give him a nice open mouth, tounges touching kiss and he pulls away from me. I asked him why he always does that, he said he didnt want to because he was too stressed???? Like really, sex I can understand a little more but now I cant even have a real kiss that doesnt feel like im kissing my brother because he is stressed?? Sometimes it really worries me like maybe he is cheating, but I honestly dont think he would do that. He loves me very much and I know that. Also he is a very blunt person and if he no longer had feelings for me or had feelings for someone else he wouldnt be afraid to tell me the relationship was over. Im just frustrated and it weighs on my mind all the time. I try not to bring it up too much because I do know that he is stressed and I dont want to be on his case all the time. I want him to want to have sex with me and not feel like he has to. I dont know what to do, can you please give me ur words of wisdom on this subject?

March 2, 2010 - 1:16pm

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