hello diane, thank you very much for your response. I have been referred to a consultant because of my mental health history,and they are aware of the way im feeling at the moment. I have been offered medication to try and help, but i have refused, as i dont want to take anything like that whilst im pregnant. Although i am finding everything quite difficult, i dont feel suicidal as i have everything to live for in regards to my two boys and new baby. the reason i struck that low before, was because my childrens father have them every holiday {as he lives about 200 miles from me} and this includes the 6 wks holidays, and at the time i took an overdose they had been away for about 4 wks, leaving me feeling even more lost and unsure of myself, because without them around i had no actual focus or routine, leaving me free to go off the rails and think more deeply than usual about all the things wrong about me and my life, and just come to the conclusion in my head that everyone was best off without me and my on going problems. I know it sounds awful, but its almost like i forgot i was a mother and very much needed by them, even though they were only away for a month, very selfish. When they are around, i just keep going, because thats what being a mother is all about, i gave birth to my children and from day one promised to love, care and be there for them for the rest of my life, no matter how difficult things are. My ex just dosent seem to care about anything apart from the fact that this baby is his possesion, he still comes around all the time acting like we are an item, although to everyone else he makes it clear that we are not, im so scared to tell him to get lost as i couldnt imagine bringing up another child with an absent father, but i dont know what he is playing at really.if i honestly thought he would be this uncaring and unsupportive, i never would of allowed myself to fall pregnant again, he just said the right things at the right time, and i thought things could be different this time.He never helps me with the boys, never offers to do chores when he stays,never asks how im feeling,dosent care when im lugging heavy shopping or painting,i basically run around after him as well as the kids,and its just all getting me down.Im lucky to get a hug these days x
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hello diane, thank you very much for your response. I have been referred to a consultant because of my mental health history,and they are aware of the way im feeling at the moment. I have been offered medication to try and help, but i have refused, as i dont want to take anything like that whilst im pregnant. Although i am finding everything quite difficult, i dont feel suicidal as i have everything to live for in regards to my two boys and new baby. the reason i struck that low before, was because my childrens father have them every holiday {as he lives about 200 miles from me} and this includes the 6 wks holidays, and at the time i took an overdose they had been away for about 4 wks, leaving me feeling even more lost and unsure of myself, because without them around i had no actual focus or routine, leaving me free to go off the rails and think more deeply than usual about all the things wrong about me and my life, and just come to the conclusion in my head that everyone was best off without me and my on going problems. I know it sounds awful, but its almost like i forgot i was a mother and very much needed by them, even though they were only away for a month, very selfish. When they are around, i just keep going, because thats what being a mother is all about, i gave birth to my children and from day one promised to love, care and be there for them for the rest of my life, no matter how difficult things are. My ex just dosent seem to care about anything apart from the fact that this baby is his possesion, he still comes around all the time acting like we are an item, although to everyone else he makes it clear that we are not, im so scared to tell him to get lost as i couldnt imagine bringing up another child with an absent father, but i dont know what he is playing at really.if i honestly thought he would be this uncaring and unsupportive, i never would of allowed myself to fall pregnant again, he just said the right things at the right time, and i thought things could be different this time.He never helps me with the boys, never offers to do chores when he stays,never asks how im feeling,dosent care when im lugging heavy shopping or painting,i basically run around after him as well as the kids,and its just all getting me down.Im lucky to get a hug these days x
March 17, 2010 - 12:57pmThis Comment
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