If you look through our sexual health section here on EmpowHER, you will see we get questions like this regularly. So first know you aren't alone. Secondly, how is your relationship with your boyfriend? Do you have other issues going on that are putting a strain on the relationship?
Have you asked your boyfriend about your sex life? You don't have to do anything for him that you don't want to, particularly if he isn't willing to do the same for you. But maybe if you show him this question it could get a conversation started about just what is going on.
Many things can have an effect on sex drive. Stress, diet, physical illness, hormone levels; all kinds of things. It is not uncommon to look at porn, and sometimes men who are having issues with sex drive go to porn to try and "get things going" again. I don't know if that's what is happening here.
What every relationship needs is open communication about what is going on. Just ask him. He may feel uncomfortable discussing it, but it is important. If you have trouble getting the conversation going then I'm going to suggest couples counseling. Even one visit can have a dramatic effect on communication.
Be sure when you want to talk to him that you listen as much as you talk. Everyone needs to be heard. If he refuses to discuss any of this, you may want to go to counseling alone to figure out how to proceed.
Read through our sexual health information here on the site. You will see you are not alone, and maybe something you see here will help you talk to your boyfriend.
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Hi Ashley-
If you look through our sexual health section here on EmpowHER, you will see we get questions like this regularly. So first know you aren't alone. Secondly, how is your relationship with your boyfriend? Do you have other issues going on that are putting a strain on the relationship?
Have you asked your boyfriend about your sex life? You don't have to do anything for him that you don't want to, particularly if he isn't willing to do the same for you. But maybe if you show him this question it could get a conversation started about just what is going on.
Many things can have an effect on sex drive. Stress, diet, physical illness, hormone levels; all kinds of things. It is not uncommon to look at porn, and sometimes men who are having issues with sex drive go to porn to try and "get things going" again. I don't know if that's what is happening here.
What every relationship needs is open communication about what is going on. Just ask him. He may feel uncomfortable discussing it, but it is important. If you have trouble getting the conversation going then I'm going to suggest couples counseling. Even one visit can have a dramatic effect on communication.
Be sure when you want to talk to him that you listen as much as you talk. Everyone needs to be heard. If he refuses to discuss any of this, you may want to go to counseling alone to figure out how to proceed.
Read through our sexual health information here on the site. You will see you are not alone, and maybe something you see here will help you talk to your boyfriend.
Good luck.
March 26, 2010 - 6:54amThis Comment
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