I have had my share of relationship problems. Many, many relationship problems. One thing that I keep seeing here and that rings true for me and for my friends is we spend an awful lot of time asking each other things we should be asking our significant other.
Why does he do this or that? Ask him. Open communication is so important in any relationship, whether it is with your kids, your parents, your boss, your friends, or your spouse. If you can't talk to each other, it isn't much of a relationship. Sometimes it's really hard to bring up a touchy subject. But we have to work past the fear and open communication.
The most important part of communicating is listening. When I ask a question. I close my mouth and listen for the answer. Sometimes that is hard. Sometimes you don't like what you're hearing. It doesn't matter. Open communication means each person gets a say. So listen without interrupting, and think about your response before it flies out of your mouth. That is my biggest problem. Words fly out of my mouth like supersonic jets. My brain has no idea what is shooting out of my mouth. Until the cringe right after I realize what I just said.
Before you complain or ask your friends or assume you think you know what is happening, just ask directly. Then, LISTEN.
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I'm at the point where i just can't take it anymore! 90% percent of the time when i try talking to this man who is suppose to be my husband, he interrupts, doesn't allow me the opportunity to speak, gets angry & yells without hearing me out! I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! I'm tired of being treated this way.
November 18, 2011 - 6:04pmWhenever i need to talk about something, i come to him calmly, no yelling or screaming involved but i always walk away feeling like a wounded animal. I've been threw so much pain & heart ache with this man. I need to get out of the relationship because i know for a fact that he is not going to change.
We were having a conversation, he interrupts me and says that he's going to go pick up the kids from school. He then goes in the living room & sits for 20 or 30 minutes & watches t.v. Why cut the conversation short to go sit down & watch Jerry Springer? Thats because he doesn't want to hear what i have to say.
He then says to me that we'll go out some place to talk. Why go to a bar to talk about problems.
I really regret that i married this man!!!
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Oh how true this is! I learned this lesson well at a young age. I got married when I was only 19 years old and shipped off the Germany with the military and had to deal with any issues in my relationship with my husband. Unfortunately, things didn't work out between him and I but not having the ability to talk for hours over the phone, really disconnected me from that shoulder of your friend and is helpful to depend on each other only.
I have to laugh about Susan's defense and prosecution statue since that rings so true. When it comes to 'girlfriends' the men are always guilty until proven innocent so be very careful about sharing personal information without consultation between your mate first. I agree that some things are better left unsaid between you and your mate. Thanks for the share.
March 27, 2010 - 9:37amThis Comment