Yes this is a problem for my girlfriend. We went at it quite often. Then I had 'performance' issues which caused me to become frustrated, and so I would literally just become depressed and hate myself. We didn't have sex for a month after that, and then it never recovered. the issue is a bit physical, meaning, she is very 'small' and I am for lack of a better term, 'springy' which means I must reach a high level of 'hardness' to uh 'make it happen.' it seems like I get one chance, and then some psychological thing sets it, and then (cue sound effect), but it's really not funny at all, because we both want to, but our bodies won't cooperate.
I did have some Viagra for a short period which eliminated the problem, but you can't depend on that forever. I'm 30, she's 25.
Also she's bipolar, so she goes through periods of not wanting it, and then suddenly wanting it all the time, and I've developed some kind of aversion to it, because I'm afraid of the performance failure outcome.
In addition, there is the self-image problem. I have psoriasis, which over the past year has worsened to 'sensitive' areas, and it has a devastating effect on one's feeling of attractiveness and there is no cure.
I did previously have a problem with pornography, it's easily accessible and if you become accustomed to masturbating, you will become 'asexual' and then have to slowly cross the bridge back to your partner by ridding yourself of video porn.
We both have mild depression and don't take any medication.
Another thing problem is 'overexposure'. My partner and I both work-at-home, entrepreneurial types, so i'm always here. She's almost always here. In fact, it's very rare that she's ever alone. If she leaves, she sees students. When she comes home, I'm here. When I leave for a couple of weeks and come back, we have sex like we first met. Also, my girlfriend is very touch-feely, so she's in constant contact with me, and sometimes too much physical contact dissolves the sexual tension that needs to build up for a performance.
Also, neither of us have had sex very much and quite frankly aren't very good at it.
Lastly, she complains of pain every time we do it - This is because of an existing gynecological condition which she doesn't want to get treatment for. Her vagina is very small, so it can develop yeast infection easily, and she can only tolerate sex for about five minutes. So, seeing her in pain, over a period of time kind of acted as a deterrent.
So, here you have eight detrimental factors: Male performance frustration/anger, biological impedence, skin condition, general depression, bipolar disorder, overexposure and vaginal pain.
And yet, we still manage to have sex once in a blue moon. Usually in the morning.
Sometimes men are so focused on a project or work, that sex doesn't even enter their mind. But, it doesn't mean you're any less attractive, nor does their inability to gain erection mean this, sometimes it's just a confluence of factors, and all you can do is keep trying and trying.
But definitely make sure your man cuts down on porn, or at least watch it with you, if you permit, so he doesn't leave you for his laptop.
Occasionally my girlfriend just kind of attacks me out of nowhere, and at first I resist, because I'm worried about the expectation and the cooperation required, but I'm always glad she did.
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Yes this is a problem for my girlfriend. We went at it quite often. Then I had 'performance' issues which caused me to become frustrated, and so I would literally just become depressed and hate myself. We didn't have sex for a month after that, and then it never recovered. the issue is a bit physical, meaning, she is very 'small' and I am for lack of a better term, 'springy' which means I must reach a high level of 'hardness' to uh 'make it happen.' it seems like I get one chance, and then some psychological thing sets it, and then (cue sound effect), but it's really not funny at all, because we both want to, but our bodies won't cooperate.
I did have some Viagra for a short period which eliminated the problem, but you can't depend on that forever. I'm 30, she's 25.
Also she's bipolar, so she goes through periods of not wanting it, and then suddenly wanting it all the time, and I've developed some kind of aversion to it, because I'm afraid of the performance failure outcome.
In addition, there is the self-image problem. I have psoriasis, which over the past year has worsened to 'sensitive' areas, and it has a devastating effect on one's feeling of attractiveness and there is no cure.
I did previously have a problem with pornography, it's easily accessible and if you become accustomed to masturbating, you will become 'asexual' and then have to slowly cross the bridge back to your partner by ridding yourself of video porn.
We both have mild depression and don't take any medication.
Another thing problem is 'overexposure'. My partner and I both work-at-home, entrepreneurial types, so i'm always here. She's almost always here. In fact, it's very rare that she's ever alone. If she leaves, she sees students. When she comes home, I'm here. When I leave for a couple of weeks and come back, we have sex like we first met. Also, my girlfriend is very touch-feely, so she's in constant contact with me, and sometimes too much physical contact dissolves the sexual tension that needs to build up for a performance.
Also, neither of us have had sex very much and quite frankly aren't very good at it.
Lastly, she complains of pain every time we do it - This is because of an existing gynecological condition which she doesn't want to get treatment for. Her vagina is very small, so it can develop yeast infection easily, and she can only tolerate sex for about five minutes. So, seeing her in pain, over a period of time kind of acted as a deterrent.
So, here you have eight detrimental factors: Male performance frustration/anger, biological impedence, skin condition, general depression, bipolar disorder, overexposure and vaginal pain.
And yet, we still manage to have sex once in a blue moon. Usually in the morning.
Sometimes men are so focused on a project or work, that sex doesn't even enter their mind. But, it doesn't mean you're any less attractive, nor does their inability to gain erection mean this, sometimes it's just a confluence of factors, and all you can do is keep trying and trying.
But definitely make sure your man cuts down on porn, or at least watch it with you, if you permit, so he doesn't leave you for his laptop.
Occasionally my girlfriend just kind of attacks me out of nowhere, and at first I resist, because I'm worried about the expectation and the cooperation required, but I'm always glad she did.
May 22, 2011 - 10:55pmThis Comment
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