Anon,
I AM surprised at your age, but in a very good way -- I am so happy that you, at 44, are in such a good place despite your social anxiety. And by that I mean that you have found ways to cope and pathways to take that have become your tools.
Can I talk to you about the blushing? I know that it makes you feel like the center of attention, which is very uncomfortable for me as well (though I don't blush like you do). But many people just think blushing is cute. I know, I know, that doesn't make you feel a lot better, but it's true. It may help you to figure out a sentence that you can always say when you blush that will deflect attention from the situation immediately at hand. Something like:
-- "Yep, that's me, I blush at Hallmark commercials," or
-- "I'm not blushing, I think I just need sunscreen," or
-- "That's not a blush, I'm just looking at the world through rose-colored glasses"
Does that seem possible? One of the best things to get attention off ourselves is, ironically, to make a joke about ourselves. People will laugh at the joke, and usually then move on instead of continuing to focus on you.
Blushing isn't stupid. It's just a normal human reaction and many, many people do it. Have you ever seen someone blush on television? It actually goes away faster than you think. That 30 seconds or so may seem like a long time to you, but it isn't long or a big deal to others.
This is a column written by a doctor on blushing and social anxiety:
You're already doing the right thing by not fretting over it as much as you used to when you were younger! The doctor points out that "fear of blushing" is almost enough to make it worse all on its own. And he also emphasizes that others don't see blushing nearly as negatively as the person does who actually IS blushing.
Have you ever considered therapy for your social anxiety?
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Anon,
I AM surprised at your age, but in a very good way -- I am so happy that you, at 44, are in such a good place despite your social anxiety. And by that I mean that you have found ways to cope and pathways to take that have become your tools.
Can I talk to you about the blushing? I know that it makes you feel like the center of attention, which is very uncomfortable for me as well (though I don't blush like you do). But many people just think blushing is cute. I know, I know, that doesn't make you feel a lot better, but it's true. It may help you to figure out a sentence that you can always say when you blush that will deflect attention from the situation immediately at hand. Something like:
-- "Yep, that's me, I blush at Hallmark commercials," or
-- "I'm not blushing, I think I just need sunscreen," or
-- "That's not a blush, I'm just looking at the world through rose-colored glasses"
Does that seem possible? One of the best things to get attention off ourselves is, ironically, to make a joke about ourselves. People will laugh at the joke, and usually then move on instead of continuing to focus on you.
Blushing isn't stupid. It's just a normal human reaction and many, many people do it. Have you ever seen someone blush on television? It actually goes away faster than you think. That 30 seconds or so may seem like a long time to you, but it isn't long or a big deal to others.
This is a column written by a doctor on blushing and social anxiety:
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/blushing.html
You're already doing the right thing by not fretting over it as much as you used to when you were younger! The doctor points out that "fear of blushing" is almost enough to make it worse all on its own. And he also emphasizes that others don't see blushing nearly as negatively as the person does who actually IS blushing.
Have you ever considered therapy for your social anxiety?
May 13, 2010 - 8:42amThis Comment
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