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(reply to Alison Beaver)

the discussion was this..or rather here is what happened. I seen that he had, earlier that night while I was playing video games with my daughter, gone with his laptop in the bathrrom and checked out quite a bit of porn...I got upset went out side for about an hour and smoked a cigg to calm down. I was able to think of rational non emotional reasonings for what I had to say. I came back in and told him that I dont think our relationsship is as good as I thought it was because I cant completly trust him (hence the checking up on him every so often) and thats when we got to that I knew what he was doing last night (and for the past few days here and there) I told him I want him to change the password on his computer taht way I cant check and would ahve the blissful ingorance of not being able to prove what I know he is doing. I proceeded to tell him that it upset me and makes me feel like I wasnt good enough or not satisfying him. At some point he brought up how I told him how other things bother me but not this, tho I am sure I have to some degree told him. that was pretty much it, went and put my daughter to bed after that...came in the bedroom where he was and smoked a cigg...asked if he wanted the light on or off and he asked me if I was coming to bed and I told him no I am gonna tek a shower first....came to bed after like a 45 min shower where yes I cried, till he fell asleep then went and slept on the couch.He wasnt really defensive but was a little bit. Mostly he didnt have much to say. Pretty much advoided him this morning before he left for work and the little we did say was about my daughters computer.he didnt say anythign before he left, didnt call on his first break like he usually does but the few times I did talk to him breifly later this even he would make comments about "us" and what not and be all positive as if things will be fine. I dont think he understands how hurt I am aobut it and how much I feel like I am not good enough so he needs to find it somewhere else. Trust me its not that I am not willing to lend a hand.

June 15, 2010 - 3:26pm

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