The first thing you should know is this likely has nothing to do with you at all. Impotence is a touchy subject. Men feel it makes them less than a man, even though it does not. They are often ashamed and defensive about it. The inability to maintain an erection is a form of impotence. Knowing he is having trouble will make him want to avoid sex so he doesn't have to go through having that difficulty again, because he is embarrassed. It can become a vicious cycle.
I am concerned because weight gain, aging, and impotence together can mean a problem with blood flow. He could have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, type II diabetes or something along those lines. Those things cause not only impotence, but serious health problems. So I am wondering if he has had a medical checkup recently. If he has not, he should. There is a strong and well-studied link between impotence and cardiac problems.
It could also be that as he is aging, his testosterone level is dropping. This is not at all unusual. Women go through menopause, but men's hormones change, too. Low testosterone means low sex drive. This is something that can be checked with a blood test during his exam. Low testosterone will also make him more tired and mentally not as sharp, so if that is the culprit and his health care provider prescribes testosterone gel, he will feel a million times perkier than he does now.
The bottom line here is that it is very important for him to have a physical and make sure he does not have a health problem that could end up serious if not treated. I suggest he be checked out before either of you assume this is in his head. We also have a page on impotence: https://www.empowher.com/media/reference/impotence
Please let us know how you do, and thanks for writing.
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Hi Anonymous
The first thing you should know is this likely has nothing to do with you at all. Impotence is a touchy subject. Men feel it makes them less than a man, even though it does not. They are often ashamed and defensive about it. The inability to maintain an erection is a form of impotence. Knowing he is having trouble will make him want to avoid sex so he doesn't have to go through having that difficulty again, because he is embarrassed. It can become a vicious cycle.
I am concerned because weight gain, aging, and impotence together can mean a problem with blood flow. He could have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, type II diabetes or something along those lines. Those things cause not only impotence, but serious health problems. So I am wondering if he has had a medical checkup recently. If he has not, he should. There is a strong and well-studied link between impotence and cardiac problems.
It could also be that as he is aging, his testosterone level is dropping. This is not at all unusual. Women go through menopause, but men's hormones change, too. Low testosterone means low sex drive. This is something that can be checked with a blood test during his exam. Low testosterone will also make him more tired and mentally not as sharp, so if that is the culprit and his health care provider prescribes testosterone gel, he will feel a million times perkier than he does now.
The bottom line here is that it is very important for him to have a physical and make sure he does not have a health problem that could end up serious if not treated. I suggest he be checked out before either of you assume this is in his head. We also have a page on impotence: https://www.empowher.com/media/reference/impotence
Please let us know how you do, and thanks for writing.
May 24, 2010 - 7:04amThis Comment
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