Your response really hit hard with me. This is what I think the internet is doing. It's ruining relationships and giving men the idea that all women should be looked at in the same way. It makes men think that women behave the way these women on the porn sites behave... but in reality - it's a lie. These women/girls are being PAID to act this way. Once they are done with the shoot they just want to take their money and run to the next shoot, the shower, or their man. I don't know of any women that really want to be treated like they are a "dirty little ...." in bed, and if they do say that then either more power to her or she's got some things to deal with herself.
My marriage is in destruction mode right now because I first caught him contacting people on Craigslist and setting up meetings. I got him to stop that with a lot of talking, arguing, and counseling. Now, when ever he's home alone he spends anywhere from 2-4 hours surfing instead of working harder on his job, then takes off for lunch, and finally Happy Hours. (He has a home based sales job, but leaves for appointments.)
I know how long he does it because we had an agreement where I could check his computer to make sure he wasn't contacting other women, but when I saw all the porn - it was just as bad! Now he won't let me anywhere near the computer and says I'm just nosey, it's his privacy, and he wants his anonimity and that he won't be my eunich. The porn really is a turn off and I love to have sex with my husband... of couse when I'm not tired after working 40+ hours week, cleaning the house, and making dinner - but by then he's given up hope.
On Friday we had a major blow up... somehow he broke his finger, and I am bruised from trying to keep him from leaving the house (he had 4 margaritas at dinner and I didn't want him to drive drunk). He left the house yesterday, only to return very late and I slept on the couch. Today he left at 8am and didn't tell me where he's going. I know he has some underlying issues but he never continued therapy because he was too sensitive to being called a "Sex Addict".
What am I supposed to do? Luckily we have no children together but my 11 yo has come to accept him and his children me. I moved miles away from home to be a part of his family and have left my friends and family behind. Where I live now, I really have no friends to socialize with and I'm almost scared to because I feel like it would conflict with spending time with my "needy" (as his mother calls him) husband.
Other than this we have a really wonderful life - like I mean 97% perfect. Same dreams, hopes, aspirations, and we really elevate each other to be positive when we're down. However, when this comes up we are complete opposites.
I look around the house and think this is not the way a marriage should be. Isn't he supposed to respect how I feel about this and curb his "appetite" for porn? Does every man feel this strongly about porn that they would be willing to leave their wives for it? Am I supposed to stop caring about what I feel so strongly against to have a happy marriage? I thought there was supposed to be compromise - not all his way or now way?
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Your response really hit hard with me. This is what I think the internet is doing. It's ruining relationships and giving men the idea that all women should be looked at in the same way. It makes men think that women behave the way these women on the porn sites behave... but in reality - it's a lie. These women/girls are being PAID to act this way. Once they are done with the shoot they just want to take their money and run to the next shoot, the shower, or their man. I don't know of any women that really want to be treated like they are a "dirty little ...." in bed, and if they do say that then either more power to her or she's got some things to deal with herself.
January 29, 2012 - 10:56amMy marriage is in destruction mode right now because I first caught him contacting people on Craigslist and setting up meetings. I got him to stop that with a lot of talking, arguing, and counseling. Now, when ever he's home alone he spends anywhere from 2-4 hours surfing instead of working harder on his job, then takes off for lunch, and finally Happy Hours. (He has a home based sales job, but leaves for appointments.)
I know how long he does it because we had an agreement where I could check his computer to make sure he wasn't contacting other women, but when I saw all the porn - it was just as bad! Now he won't let me anywhere near the computer and says I'm just nosey, it's his privacy, and he wants his anonimity and that he won't be my eunich. The porn really is a turn off and I love to have sex with my husband... of couse when I'm not tired after working 40+ hours week, cleaning the house, and making dinner - but by then he's given up hope.
On Friday we had a major blow up... somehow he broke his finger, and I am bruised from trying to keep him from leaving the house (he had 4 margaritas at dinner and I didn't want him to drive drunk). He left the house yesterday, only to return very late and I slept on the couch. Today he left at 8am and didn't tell me where he's going. I know he has some underlying issues but he never continued therapy because he was too sensitive to being called a "Sex Addict".
What am I supposed to do? Luckily we have no children together but my 11 yo has come to accept him and his children me. I moved miles away from home to be a part of his family and have left my friends and family behind. Where I live now, I really have no friends to socialize with and I'm almost scared to because I feel like it would conflict with spending time with my "needy" (as his mother calls him) husband.
Other than this we have a really wonderful life - like I mean 97% perfect. Same dreams, hopes, aspirations, and we really elevate each other to be positive when we're down. However, when this comes up we are complete opposites.
I look around the house and think this is not the way a marriage should be. Isn't he supposed to respect how I feel about this and curb his "appetite" for porn? Does every man feel this strongly about porn that they would be willing to leave their wives for it? Am I supposed to stop caring about what I feel so strongly against to have a happy marriage? I thought there was supposed to be compromise - not all his way or now way?
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