Karma, maybe you didn't read my post because there are soo many of us with this problem. I am still married to my porn/sex addict. I never feel really truly secure in my marriage. And I still find out he looks at stuff. Now he's smarter...uses his iPad because you can delete the history and it's untraceable. (Ladies watch out for that trick... flaw in the product. Many kids are using it for the same purpose and parents can't do anything unless they set a password. Anyway, we've done it all, private counseling, sex therapy, leaving each other, etc... Before we were married we split up for 2 months. And we did just like you...occasional dinner, he was always calling and saying nice things, but I found out he was sleeping around too. Nevertheless, when he proposed I said yes under many conditions, one being that the internet was out of the picture. Karma, here I am 2 years later still struggling with the same thing!!! If you can't deal with it or accept it...LEAVE AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!! I gave him a second, third, fourth chance only for me to be "stuck on stupid". I love him, but this is crazy. That men can't or don't want to try to understand or care about how it hurts their partner is absolutely insane.
Be good to yourself! Feel strength in yourself! Choose your men wisely, and recognize that 99% of men at one time or another look at porn. Some like it more than other's. Some are addicted. Know your potential mate, take your time to find out what is really behind those closed doors.
A wise friend told me that you truly know how a man will treat you after 6 months and she has yet to be proven wrong. At my 6 month mark, I found out he was dating another woman even after I asked if he was, because I didn't want to get entangled in a mess. After 6 months of marriage, I again found the porn and Craigslist issue. And of course all the times between...promises broken, trust destroyed. Now I'm married to a wonderful man and a monster addiction that hurts me daily.
Don't do that to yourself!
My therapist says it's like an alcohol addiction. Unless he goes through tremendous amounts of therapy and makes a commitment to a group/therapist it's inevitable that he will fall off the wagon. Like a drink to an alcoholic, it is an addiction that makes them feel good. Why would they totally give it up, and hiding it increases the rush of adrenaline - making it even better.
Don't give him the greatness in you... think of it this way... if he can't change then he needs to move on because this is your world... he's just taking up your space and breathing your air!!
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Karma, maybe you didn't read my post because there are soo many of us with this problem. I am still married to my porn/sex addict. I never feel really truly secure in my marriage. And I still find out he looks at stuff. Now he's smarter...uses his iPad because you can delete the history and it's untraceable. (Ladies watch out for that trick... flaw in the product. Many kids are using it for the same purpose and parents can't do anything unless they set a password. Anyway, we've done it all, private counseling, sex therapy, leaving each other, etc... Before we were married we split up for 2 months. And we did just like you...occasional dinner, he was always calling and saying nice things, but I found out he was sleeping around too. Nevertheless, when he proposed I said yes under many conditions, one being that the internet was out of the picture. Karma, here I am 2 years later still struggling with the same thing!!! If you can't deal with it or accept it...LEAVE AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!! I gave him a second, third, fourth chance only for me to be "stuck on stupid". I love him, but this is crazy. That men can't or don't want to try to understand or care about how it hurts their partner is absolutely insane.
Be good to yourself! Feel strength in yourself! Choose your men wisely, and recognize that 99% of men at one time or another look at porn. Some like it more than other's. Some are addicted. Know your potential mate, take your time to find out what is really behind those closed doors.
A wise friend told me that you truly know how a man will treat you after 6 months and she has yet to be proven wrong. At my 6 month mark, I found out he was dating another woman even after I asked if he was, because I didn't want to get entangled in a mess. After 6 months of marriage, I again found the porn and Craigslist issue. And of course all the times between...promises broken, trust destroyed. Now I'm married to a wonderful man and a monster addiction that hurts me daily.
June 4, 2012 - 2:34pmDon't do that to yourself!
My therapist says it's like an alcohol addiction. Unless he goes through tremendous amounts of therapy and makes a commitment to a group/therapist it's inevitable that he will fall off the wagon. Like a drink to an alcoholic, it is an addiction that makes them feel good. Why would they totally give it up, and hiding it increases the rush of adrenaline - making it even better.
Don't give him the greatness in you... think of it this way... if he can't change then he needs to move on because this is your world... he's just taking up your space and breathing your air!!
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