I so agree with what you have said here. I have been in a relationship with someone for a year, and I highly suspect that he has Aspergers. He said, after I asked him about my thoughts about this, that he sees no reason for people to have labels. He has said, though, that he has mild ocd.
He is very intelligent; has a Ph.D.
I have read a lot about Aspergers, and it seems that they are often attracted to those who are attracted to them, as often they have issues with socialization.
I have realized, over this year, that he never inquires about my feelings about anything. He doesn't ask about my past. I have gotten the feeling that I could be anyone. What I am seems to be unimportant - he is just happy with having someone to go places with. I feel he was sort of "casting" for a human being to be social with, and I have realized that I really prefer to be with those who want to be with me because they like me for specific reasons.
At first there was charm, and a romantic nature to him, and once he realized that I seemed "into" our relationship, this all slipped away. He is focused on other things now. It is like he went "shopping" for something, say, a lamp, found it, and, now can take care of pursueing the next item on the list. He was quick to ask if I wanted to commit to this relationship exclusively. He, I think, wishes for a kind person to be around, to keep loneliness at bay. He, I think, because we are getting older, doesn't want to face health issues by himself.
I have ADD, so, I have issues - which he needs to bring up all of the time (he seems to think that my having a label is just fine - as a matter-of-fact, he cites my situation as the reason that things go wrong, when they do, as he is without fault, nearly always).
I am thankful that I have noticed the things that I have mentioned, plus others, relatively early-on, as here, I have read comments from so many that have invested many years in relationships with those with similar issues.
I certainly wouldn't encourage anyone into entering a situation with anyone, not just those with Aspergers, just from what I might notice about the way things appear. I think only those involved in a relationship are truly "filled-in" with the scope of things. Shakespeare's words - "All the world is a stage . . ." Acting is easy to manage for a while. It likely gets tiring, after a while, to "act" charming.
I am not saying that my experience will be the case for everyone in a relationship with a person with similar traits. I have just appreciated the fact that others have taken the time to make mention of their situations. I, in turn, hope my thoughts will be of help for someone. We all know that everyone is different, and the saying about one bad apple.
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I so agree with what you have said here. I have been in a relationship with someone for a year, and I highly suspect that he has Aspergers. He said, after I asked him about my thoughts about this, that he sees no reason for people to have labels. He has said, though, that he has mild ocd.
He is very intelligent; has a Ph.D.
I have read a lot about Aspergers, and it seems that they are often attracted to those who are attracted to them, as often they have issues with socialization.
I have realized, over this year, that he never inquires about my feelings about anything. He doesn't ask about my past. I have gotten the feeling that I could be anyone. What I am seems to be unimportant - he is just happy with having someone to go places with. I feel he was sort of "casting" for a human being to be social with, and I have realized that I really prefer to be with those who want to be with me because they like me for specific reasons.
At first there was charm, and a romantic nature to him, and once he realized that I seemed "into" our relationship, this all slipped away. He is focused on other things now. It is like he went "shopping" for something, say, a lamp, found it, and, now can take care of pursueing the next item on the list. He was quick to ask if I wanted to commit to this relationship exclusively. He, I think, wishes for a kind person to be around, to keep loneliness at bay. He, I think, because we are getting older, doesn't want to face health issues by himself.
I have ADD, so, I have issues - which he needs to bring up all of the time (he seems to think that my having a label is just fine - as a matter-of-fact, he cites my situation as the reason that things go wrong, when they do, as he is without fault, nearly always).
I am thankful that I have noticed the things that I have mentioned, plus others, relatively early-on, as here, I have read comments from so many that have invested many years in relationships with those with similar issues.
I certainly wouldn't encourage anyone into entering a situation with anyone, not just those with Aspergers, just from what I might notice about the way things appear. I think only those involved in a relationship are truly "filled-in" with the scope of things. Shakespeare's words - "All the world is a stage . . ." Acting is easy to manage for a while. It likely gets tiring, after a while, to "act" charming.
I am not saying that my experience will be the case for everyone in a relationship with a person with similar traits. I have just appreciated the fact that others have taken the time to make mention of their situations. I, in turn, hope my thoughts will be of help for someone. We all know that everyone is different, and the saying about one bad apple.
March 29, 2013 - 5:57pmThis Comment
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