As a man on the ASD scale there are some things I would add:
Even if he is developmentally incapable of understanding your feelings and needs right now, because of your current status you cannot and should not feel obligated to either him or the dating relationship. As mentioned take ASD out of the picture, if he were an NT and made the insisting demands, you are still in no position to be capable of handling this kind of pressure.
This is not about his disorders, no matter what they might include or not include. As pointed out, this is about your abused past.
I have similar childhood experiences to yours. I can say that healing is a long process. And that a partner, even if you couldn't blame them for incessant pressure to be intimate, this is a partner you cannot handle at this time.
Those of us who are Survivors must have a fully supportive partner in the healing process, or we must take ourselves in hand and keep moving.
This is a hard thing to say, but I speak from personal experience. For me the pressures were not sexual intimacy, but instead a lack of empathy for all that this past, and my neuro disorders, we're putting me through. The pressure was to 'deal with it', to 'grow up and take it', to 'quit making excuses' for the grieving, the depression, the paralysis at times. Imagine being told you wouldn't have these problems 'if you'd just get over it'.
This not about his disorders, whatever they may be. This is about your survival.
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As a man on the ASD scale there are some things I would add:
Even if he is developmentally incapable of understanding your feelings and needs right now, because of your current status you cannot and should not feel obligated to either him or the dating relationship. As mentioned take ASD out of the picture, if he were an NT and made the insisting demands, you are still in no position to be capable of handling this kind of pressure.
October 11, 2015 - 3:30amThis is not about his disorders, no matter what they might include or not include. As pointed out, this is about your abused past.
I have similar childhood experiences to yours. I can say that healing is a long process. And that a partner, even if you couldn't blame them for incessant pressure to be intimate, this is a partner you cannot handle at this time.
Those of us who are Survivors must have a fully supportive partner in the healing process, or we must take ourselves in hand and keep moving.
This is a hard thing to say, but I speak from personal experience. For me the pressures were not sexual intimacy, but instead a lack of empathy for all that this past, and my neuro disorders, we're putting me through. The pressure was to 'deal with it', to 'grow up and take it', to 'quit making excuses' for the grieving, the depression, the paralysis at times. Imagine being told you wouldn't have these problems 'if you'd just get over it'.
This not about his disorders, whatever they may be. This is about your survival.
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