I've been through this so many times. If you read the book The Other Side of Asperger's it might be helpful. Missing the "intimacy" is a huge part of why I can't and won't do it again. With Aspie's they tend to project a lot in my expereience. He is aloof and blaming it on your son. As for me, giving gifts is nice and I love it! Only in conjunction with the emotional intimacy part, whey they can't do. As a NT I can't do without it, I tried. Playing video games for 12 hrs isn't a normal guy thing getting caught up in sports. That is an addiction and especially if he isn't connecting with anyone, it is an escape. My ex used to think he could eat up most of the food in the house and than act like he didn't know my daughter and I didn't need to eat... it was one excuse after another. If I'd listened to the therapists, which by the way I can sense them in this posting, I'd just kept ignoring my gut and doing without, or spending more of my money that is for bills for food b/c of his sense of entitlement of having more. I won't do it again. He was selfish, what part of others living in the house that are your family didn't he get? He later after we split up admitted he was just being selfish. Good thing about my ex, he will aventually say it like it is / was. Too many therapists or others feel we NT should just compromise our selves to working with someone on the spectrum, b/c they have this issue. No b/c we NT end up losing ourselves and ALWAYS ending up with the less.... and we compromise too much. The book explains this, and will just say it like it is, if your willing to give up on certain things ( cuz they won't ever happen) then you might work it out. I for one am a very emotional being, connection, emotional intimacy are " have to haves". I ended up being the one that got sick over compensating to the video addiction, food and carb, sugar addictions, and no intimacy. I advise women to cut the cord and find themselves again. The majority cannot substain a intimate relationship. <3
Comment Reply
I've been through this so many times. If you read the book The Other Side of Asperger's it might be helpful. Missing the "intimacy" is a huge part of why I can't and won't do it again. With Aspie's they tend to project a lot in my expereience. He is aloof and blaming it on your son. As for me, giving gifts is nice and I love it! Only in conjunction with the emotional intimacy part, whey they can't do. As a NT I can't do without it, I tried. Playing video games for 12 hrs isn't a normal guy thing getting caught up in sports. That is an addiction and especially if he isn't connecting with anyone, it is an escape. My ex used to think he could eat up most of the food in the house and than act like he didn't know my daughter and I didn't need to eat... it was one excuse after another. If I'd listened to the therapists, which by the way I can sense them in this posting, I'd just kept ignoring my gut and doing without, or spending more of my money that is for bills for food b/c of his sense of entitlement of having more. I won't do it again. He was selfish, what part of others living in the house that are your family didn't he get? He later after we split up admitted he was just being selfish. Good thing about my ex, he will aventually say it like it is / was. Too many therapists or others feel we NT should just compromise our selves to working with someone on the spectrum, b/c they have this issue. No b/c we NT end up losing ourselves and ALWAYS ending up with the less.... and we compromise too much. The book explains this, and will just say it like it is, if your willing to give up on certain things ( cuz they won't ever happen) then you might work it out. I for one am a very emotional being, connection, emotional intimacy are " have to haves". I ended up being the one that got sick over compensating to the video addiction, food and carb, sugar addictions, and no intimacy. I advise women to cut the cord and find themselves again. The majority cannot substain a intimate relationship. <3
August 29, 2016 - 1:01pmThis Comment
Reply