I tried speaking with my mom today, although it sounded much better in my head than when it actually came out. I told her that I'd like to take at least a semester off of school and work until then. I told her all the reasons why - the distance, how expensive living in Victoria would be, how I wouldn't be able to visit much, and the fact that I'm just taking general classes with really not much direction and it would be smarter to think about it some more and really prepare myself rather than possibly throw a year (and lots of money) to waste. Since day 1 she has always encouraged me to go straight to university after high school, saying that if I take time off, I'd lose focus and direction and would not want to go to university at all in the future. But I completely agree with you - I think I would definitely benefit from taking a year or two off, and I know for a fact that I WANT to go to university, I just think it can wait a bit.
She wasn't too happy with what I told her, again, saying that I would lose focus and not want to come back. I didn't tell her about the fact that I don't want to lose any friendships or my relationship with my boyfriend - she would have probably laughed and told me that relationships aren't important (as she always does). I'm afraid that if I told her, she would think that's the only reason why I don't want to leave. I know she doesn't like the idea of me staying here and working - the way she puts it, I'm going to waste a lot of time doing nothing of significance (going out with friends, doing what teenagers do) and probably spend half of the money I make, which isn't true. I would save as much money as possible and well, of course I'd want to go out and have fun - I'm not just going to sit around at home doing nothing when I'm not working!
I turn 18 the first week of September. I don't think she realizes the fact that once I'm 18 I will want to make my own decisions, without her intervening the way she does now. She most likely thinks everything will remain the same and she'll have the same amount of control over my life as she does now. And to be honest, I'm afraid it will stay that way. I have a pretty hard time standing up to her.
As for the whole Florida/Uni ultimatum... it's pretty silly but she seems to think that Florida is the solution to every problem. We lived there for four years and I clearly remember how she would complain and argue with my dad, saying that moving there was the worst decision we had ever made. Now it's the opposite - now she has this ridiculous obsession with Florida, saying that we should have stayed there. She compares everything here to what it was like there! The people, the climate... even prices! It's almost as if she uses Florida as some sort of a threat - "You either do this or we're leaving". It's absurd, and my brother and I absolutely hate it.
Once again, thanks so much for your help and I hope we can continue to discuss this. I'm still unsure as to what I should do, but I'm definitely leaning towards staying here and working and not just taking a semester off, but a whole year. The only thing is I don't want to face another year of being controlled and told what to do.
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Hi Susan,
I tried speaking with my mom today, although it sounded much better in my head than when it actually came out. I told her that I'd like to take at least a semester off of school and work until then. I told her all the reasons why - the distance, how expensive living in Victoria would be, how I wouldn't be able to visit much, and the fact that I'm just taking general classes with really not much direction and it would be smarter to think about it some more and really prepare myself rather than possibly throw a year (and lots of money) to waste. Since day 1 she has always encouraged me to go straight to university after high school, saying that if I take time off, I'd lose focus and direction and would not want to go to university at all in the future. But I completely agree with you - I think I would definitely benefit from taking a year or two off, and I know for a fact that I WANT to go to university, I just think it can wait a bit.
She wasn't too happy with what I told her, again, saying that I would lose focus and not want to come back. I didn't tell her about the fact that I don't want to lose any friendships or my relationship with my boyfriend - she would have probably laughed and told me that relationships aren't important (as she always does). I'm afraid that if I told her, she would think that's the only reason why I don't want to leave. I know she doesn't like the idea of me staying here and working - the way she puts it, I'm going to waste a lot of time doing nothing of significance (going out with friends, doing what teenagers do) and probably spend half of the money I make, which isn't true. I would save as much money as possible and well, of course I'd want to go out and have fun - I'm not just going to sit around at home doing nothing when I'm not working!
I turn 18 the first week of September. I don't think she realizes the fact that once I'm 18 I will want to make my own decisions, without her intervening the way she does now. She most likely thinks everything will remain the same and she'll have the same amount of control over my life as she does now. And to be honest, I'm afraid it will stay that way. I have a pretty hard time standing up to her.
As for the whole Florida/Uni ultimatum... it's pretty silly but she seems to think that Florida is the solution to every problem. We lived there for four years and I clearly remember how she would complain and argue with my dad, saying that moving there was the worst decision we had ever made. Now it's the opposite - now she has this ridiculous obsession with Florida, saying that we should have stayed there. She compares everything here to what it was like there! The people, the climate... even prices! It's almost as if she uses Florida as some sort of a threat - "You either do this or we're leaving". It's absurd, and my brother and I absolutely hate it.
Once again, thanks so much for your help and I hope we can continue to discuss this. I'm still unsure as to what I should do, but I'm definitely leaning towards staying here and working and not just taking a semester off, but a whole year. The only thing is I don't want to face another year of being controlled and told what to do.
July 24, 2010 - 1:51pmThis Comment
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