You should definitely not feel "abnormal" for enjoying or wanting to have sex!! It is a beautiful natural instinct, and generally very good for your mind and body. Unfortunately, because libido is truly the mental part of sex (desire), if your husband has always had a lower sex drive, it might be difficult to completely change the way his head works or re-wire him for a stronger libido. It is quite common for people to have different libido level's than their partner, but there is no reason you can't each have your needs met regardless.
I would say communication is always the first step! Have you told him what you want/need in bed? Could you have a conversation about how often each of you would ideally like to have sex? In her book, Dr. Hoppe recommends scheduling time together, specifically to have sex. Maybe try something new and adventurous in bed - keep things interesting and exciting for both of you.
And most importantly, don't forget how important and healthy it is to experiment with self stimulation. If your husband is satisfied with your current sex life but you crave more, invite yourself on a sex date and make self-pleasure part of your routine. Not only will it familiarize you with what exactly feels the best, but it may also inspire your husband to play along.
Please let me know if you have other questions! Or if this helps! Thanks for your comments!!
(And check out my next book review article on Dr. Hoppe's section about aphrodisiacs...) :)
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Hi SaintSinner,
You should definitely not feel "abnormal" for enjoying or wanting to have sex!! It is a beautiful natural instinct, and generally very good for your mind and body. Unfortunately, because libido is truly the mental part of sex (desire), if your husband has always had a lower sex drive, it might be difficult to completely change the way his head works or re-wire him for a stronger libido. It is quite common for people to have different libido level's than their partner, but there is no reason you can't each have your needs met regardless.
I would say communication is always the first step! Have you told him what you want/need in bed? Could you have a conversation about how often each of you would ideally like to have sex? In her book, Dr. Hoppe recommends scheduling time together, specifically to have sex. Maybe try something new and adventurous in bed - keep things interesting and exciting for both of you.
And most importantly, don't forget how important and healthy it is to experiment with self stimulation. If your husband is satisfied with your current sex life but you crave more, invite yourself on a sex date and make self-pleasure part of your routine. Not only will it familiarize you with what exactly feels the best, but it may also inspire your husband to play along.
Please let me know if you have other questions! Or if this helps! Thanks for your comments!!
(And check out my next book review article on Dr. Hoppe's section about aphrodisiacs...) :)
August 20, 2010 - 4:52amThis Comment
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