I was living with my active duty (Air Force) boyfriend when he was called to action in the first gulf war in 1990. I wanted to get married because I was caring for his 6 yr old son (who had been abandoned by his mother). My boyfriend reluctantly agreed. He was gone for 9 months. Being married didn't make me miss him any more, or less. Nor did it prevent me from finding pictures he brought back from Kuwait of him with a girl sitting on his lap in his quanset hut. Nor did it matter while he was gone when I was kissed by his best friend (and liked it). Nor did it prevent the fights we had about me letting his son stop Karate lessons while he was gone. If he had died while he was gone, I would have been equally as devastated whether we were married or not.
When the time is right, you'll both know; you'll both be involved in the process and you both will be excited about it. The mistake I made was getting into it without an equally excited partner - and in the end, it resulted in divorce.
Why not get formally engaged, put a notice in the paper, buy a fancy dress, have a big fancy engagement party, and see how that goes for the next year? If you both can't get excited about that, don't make the mistake of taking the plunge and getting married. It won't work. Then you'll have a divorce on your record - and guess what - any subsequent marriages are twice as likely to end up in divorce. There again, I'm speaking from experience.
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I was living with my active duty (Air Force) boyfriend when he was called to action in the first gulf war in 1990. I wanted to get married because I was caring for his 6 yr old son (who had been abandoned by his mother). My boyfriend reluctantly agreed. He was gone for 9 months. Being married didn't make me miss him any more, or less. Nor did it prevent me from finding pictures he brought back from Kuwait of him with a girl sitting on his lap in his quanset hut. Nor did it matter while he was gone when I was kissed by his best friend (and liked it). Nor did it prevent the fights we had about me letting his son stop Karate lessons while he was gone. If he had died while he was gone, I would have been equally as devastated whether we were married or not.
October 13, 2010 - 5:50pmWhen the time is right, you'll both know; you'll both be involved in the process and you both will be excited about it. The mistake I made was getting into it without an equally excited partner - and in the end, it resulted in divorce.
Why not get formally engaged, put a notice in the paper, buy a fancy dress, have a big fancy engagement party, and see how that goes for the next year? If you both can't get excited about that, don't make the mistake of taking the plunge and getting married. It won't work. Then you'll have a divorce on your record - and guess what - any subsequent marriages are twice as likely to end up in divorce. There again, I'm speaking from experience.
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