I really believe that something inside of you is prohibiting you from being truly happy in this relationship. It would only benefit you to work on figuring that out, either by enlisting you boyfriend's help like the one reader suggested, or by seeking counseling to assist you in your path. Currently, as mentioned before, your relationship sounds very conflicted and unhealthy.
I know it can be hard to handle the feelings of jealousy when you think about a lover's past. You know in your head they were with others. But like you may have had lovers in the past too, you didn't know them then, so it's not fair to project bad feelings about it. Hope that makes sense. Take heart that whatever happened in the past lead him to you. It is your time now to either more forward with him, or move on. It's your choice, but this back and forth is only perpetuating the bad feelings on your part, and no doubt eventual frustration on your boyfriend's end.
I read a book a long time ago that may sound familiar and help you recognize some patterns you're seeing in your life, it's called, "Toxic People." There may even be some other books with similar titles that may help you. You can find them in the self-help section of most bookstores or in online book stores.
Good luck, and let us know if this is helping or how else we can help you work through this. Bear in mind we're not doctors or therapists, but we have life experience that may be beneficial to you.
Comment Reply
I really believe that something inside of you is prohibiting you from being truly happy in this relationship. It would only benefit you to work on figuring that out, either by enlisting you boyfriend's help like the one reader suggested, or by seeking counseling to assist you in your path. Currently, as mentioned before, your relationship sounds very conflicted and unhealthy.
October 20, 2010 - 1:26pmI know it can be hard to handle the feelings of jealousy when you think about a lover's past. You know in your head they were with others. But like you may have had lovers in the past too, you didn't know them then, so it's not fair to project bad feelings about it. Hope that makes sense. Take heart that whatever happened in the past lead him to you. It is your time now to either more forward with him, or move on. It's your choice, but this back and forth is only perpetuating the bad feelings on your part, and no doubt eventual frustration on your boyfriend's end.
I read a book a long time ago that may sound familiar and help you recognize some patterns you're seeing in your life, it's called, "Toxic People." There may even be some other books with similar titles that may help you. You can find them in the self-help section of most bookstores or in online book stores.
Good luck, and let us know if this is helping or how else we can help you work through this. Bear in mind we're not doctors or therapists, but we have life experience that may be beneficial to you.
This Comment
Reply