You may try reading a couples counseling book together, and come up with a time for a "session" every week. It would be much harder to do this, as a counselor is worth their weight in gold as a third-person to hear what is going on in your relationship. Start calling around to counselors, as if either of you work full time, your employer may offer EAP (employee assistance program) that is free (and confidential and anonymous). Universities have free counseling centers for students. Other counselors work on sliding-scale fees, or work with your health insurance. Lastly, if you live near a University, students earning their higher education degrees need to practice on couples...and you would be perfect!
A man is not mature by definition of not going to strip clubs! :-) He probably is a great guy, but he may not be the best person for you. A healthy relationship is one where you BOTH bring out the BEST in each other. You should not have to be second fiddle to video games, or feel like you are talking to a brick wall. Relationships do not always last, and this is what dating is all about...finding that person that is lovely, connected, in love with you, brings out all the fun, giddiness and joy that is inside of you. They bring out all your best parts and help support you and make you a better person...while you do the same for them. You both sound like you are bringing each other down. You do not live together, since you have separate places, so make some changes in how you see each other and relate. If he will not "wine and dine" with you, then go out with friends who know how to have fun (in responsible ways, of course). If he will not talk with you, find friends who will. Eventually, you may find yourself spending your time with friends, family and alone...all of these times may be more enjoyable than spending time with your boyfriend, and this will help show you what you need in your life.
You have choices; don't feel like a victim. You can choose to be with someone who makes you feel happy, in love, loved, worthy, sexy, spontaneous, smart, funny...and you bring out these qualities in the other person, too. If this is not happening on MOST days, then you can choose to find someone who DOES.
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You may try reading a couples counseling book together, and come up with a time for a "session" every week. It would be much harder to do this, as a counselor is worth their weight in gold as a third-person to hear what is going on in your relationship. Start calling around to counselors, as if either of you work full time, your employer may offer EAP (employee assistance program) that is free (and confidential and anonymous). Universities have free counseling centers for students. Other counselors work on sliding-scale fees, or work with your health insurance. Lastly, if you live near a University, students earning their higher education degrees need to practice on couples...and you would be perfect!
A man is not mature by definition of not going to strip clubs! :-) He probably is a great guy, but he may not be the best person for you. A healthy relationship is one where you BOTH bring out the BEST in each other. You should not have to be second fiddle to video games, or feel like you are talking to a brick wall. Relationships do not always last, and this is what dating is all about...finding that person that is lovely, connected, in love with you, brings out all the fun, giddiness and joy that is inside of you. They bring out all your best parts and help support you and make you a better person...while you do the same for them. You both sound like you are bringing each other down. You do not live together, since you have separate places, so make some changes in how you see each other and relate. If he will not "wine and dine" with you, then go out with friends who know how to have fun (in responsible ways, of course). If he will not talk with you, find friends who will. Eventually, you may find yourself spending your time with friends, family and alone...all of these times may be more enjoyable than spending time with your boyfriend, and this will help show you what you need in your life.
You have choices; don't feel like a victim. You can choose to be with someone who makes you feel happy, in love, loved, worthy, sexy, spontaneous, smart, funny...and you bring out these qualities in the other person, too. If this is not happening on MOST days, then you can choose to find someone who DOES.
November 9, 2010 - 2:45pmThis Comment
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