I'm a 22 year old girl and I've been together with my 28 year old boyfriend for about one and a half year now. We have a great relationship and love each other very much. He cares about me and wouldn't want to loose me and I'm well aware of that.
BUT, here's the problem: In the beginning we were great and had sex very often, but now our sex life is pretty much a disaster.
I often want to have sex with him and I show him this very clearly, but for him sex doesn't at all seem that important as it is for me. He almost never takes the initiative and I can be there naked right in front of him (he tells me that I'm very hot and attractive) but all he does is being funny. He is always joking and trying to be funny, ALWAYS. But in the bed that just doesn't feel right.
Sex for me is about passion, love, having fun, chemistry and all that. Sex for me is not complicated at all, but my boyfriend finds it very complicated that I need foreplay, touches and kisses and things like that before we start the act itself. He gets so easily discouraged.
When it comes to love, he's very cuddly and likes to just lie next to me and hug. And I love that too! But when it comes to sex he seem to think that he should just "put it in" and go for it. But this doesn't work for me or many other women that I know.
I remember in the beginning when we started to see each other as more than friends and by that time I had kissed quite a lot of other guys and girls and I've always heard I'm a good kisser, but he couldn't kiss properly and it felt so weird. It was as if he didn't know how to kiss, or do sex either.
I've never had this kind of sex problem before with a guy and I couldn't help but think: What if he never had anyone before me, or maybe just one girl or so? That wouldn't be a problem for me at all, but the thing is, I will never know the reason of his behaviour since he refuses to talk about his previous relationships and sex/love experiences!! (if there was any). This leaves me quite upset because I can't understand why he acts like this and I don't know how to solve the problem!
We love each other so much and I really want us to have a good sex life (I'm young and having sex 3-4 times per month is not enough!)
So please, do you have any advice for me, what I could do?
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Hi,
I'm a 22 year old girl and I've been together with my 28 year old boyfriend for about one and a half year now. We have a great relationship and love each other very much. He cares about me and wouldn't want to loose me and I'm well aware of that.
BUT, here's the problem: In the beginning we were great and had sex very often, but now our sex life is pretty much a disaster.
I often want to have sex with him and I show him this very clearly, but for him sex doesn't at all seem that important as it is for me. He almost never takes the initiative and I can be there naked right in front of him (he tells me that I'm very hot and attractive) but all he does is being funny. He is always joking and trying to be funny, ALWAYS. But in the bed that just doesn't feel right.
Sex for me is about passion, love, having fun, chemistry and all that. Sex for me is not complicated at all, but my boyfriend finds it very complicated that I need foreplay, touches and kisses and things like that before we start the act itself. He gets so easily discouraged.
When it comes to love, he's very cuddly and likes to just lie next to me and hug. And I love that too! But when it comes to sex he seem to think that he should just "put it in" and go for it. But this doesn't work for me or many other women that I know.
I remember in the beginning when we started to see each other as more than friends and by that time I had kissed quite a lot of other guys and girls and I've always heard I'm a good kisser, but he couldn't kiss properly and it felt so weird. It was as if he didn't know how to kiss, or do sex either.
I've never had this kind of sex problem before with a guy and I couldn't help but think: What if he never had anyone before me, or maybe just one girl or so? That wouldn't be a problem for me at all, but the thing is, I will never know the reason of his behaviour since he refuses to talk about his previous relationships and sex/love experiences!! (if there was any). This leaves me quite upset because I can't understand why he acts like this and I don't know how to solve the problem!
We love each other so much and I really want us to have a good sex life (I'm young and having sex 3-4 times per month is not enough!)
So please, do you have any advice for me, what I could do?
December 4, 2015 - 3:24amThis Comment
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