I am a woman with AS. I am tired of neuro-typicals trying to change us. That's how we are. I personally chose to stop wasting my life trying to fit in to other peoples expectations and now will be spending the summer doing the kind of research I love to do. You people do not realize how much brain power it takes for a person with AS to conform to the neuro-typical way. All your interactions, smiling, make me feel good about myself...it's exhausting. AS men are very smart, they may seem like helpless baby's to you but trust me....it's an act and they are very sufficient. My father has AS and managed to leave a third world country and make a name for himself in America at a time when he had no money, no political pull and the country had restrictions on people leaving. As a person with AS I understand the "games" we play. I will tell you this. AS people know that they can be sweet and charming, we do tend to take advantage of others niceness and often need VERY firm boundaries. We do not respond well to a lot of talking, yelling, emotional outbursts, in fact if you want to push us away farther start crying, yelling or being any other sort of emotional. On the inside we will just think you are strange.
What we do respond well to is action. So if you don't like how he is acting leave without saying a word. You can't apply the neuro-typical rules of relationships to a person with AS. The result will be frustration, shutdowns and a ton of misunderstanding. On the positive note we aspies only put in work to those we want to keep around. So I guess take it as a compliment that he wooed you enough to be married, considering that most of us LOVE being ALONE.
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I am a woman with AS. I am tired of neuro-typicals trying to change us. That's how we are. I personally chose to stop wasting my life trying to fit in to other peoples expectations and now will be spending the summer doing the kind of research I love to do. You people do not realize how much brain power it takes for a person with AS to conform to the neuro-typical way. All your interactions, smiling, make me feel good about myself...it's exhausting. AS men are very smart, they may seem like helpless baby's to you but trust me....it's an act and they are very sufficient. My father has AS and managed to leave a third world country and make a name for himself in America at a time when he had no money, no political pull and the country had restrictions on people leaving. As a person with AS I understand the "games" we play. I will tell you this. AS people know that they can be sweet and charming, we do tend to take advantage of others niceness and often need VERY firm boundaries. We do not respond well to a lot of talking, yelling, emotional outbursts, in fact if you want to push us away farther start crying, yelling or being any other sort of emotional. On the inside we will just think you are strange.
What we do respond well to is action. So if you don't like how he is acting leave without saying a word. You can't apply the neuro-typical rules of relationships to a person with AS. The result will be frustration, shutdowns and a ton of misunderstanding. On the positive note we aspies only put in work to those we want to keep around. So I guess take it as a compliment that he wooed you enough to be married, considering that most of us LOVE being ALONE.
April 28, 2011 - 7:01amThis Comment
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