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Hi Momo30,
You're welcome. That's what we're here for, to inspire and support!
You sound like a very smart and conscientious woman. I don't claim to be an expert at any of this. I have made my own mistakes, one of which was marrying a guy when I was 27, and knew in my heart he wasn't ready for marriage. I was divorced by 30, and regretted it. I believe it is in going through these situations we become stronger and learn what is truly important. We all are just doing the best we can, aren't we? You can long for this guy, but the fact of the matter is that if he isn't a fixture in your everyday life and standing in person by your side supporting and loving you, he's not intimate relationship material. You can miss friends, and regret things didn't turn out how you wanted, you can even love a friend. But the simple fact remains, you've got things to do, and you've got to do what is right for you in this time. So yes, like I said, I'm not an expert and don't claim to be, this is just "big sister" type of advice so take it as just something to consider and don't listen to me if you feel otherwise. My personal opinion is that you shouldn't be working so hard to get any guy to date you, and especially someone who abandoned you in your time of need. If a guy wants to be with you, he will. That's how they are--you decide if you want to make yourself available or not. And try to avoid drama, it just causes more trouble you don't need.
What does your therapist say about the situation? Do you find your sessions helpful?

January 4, 2011 - 8:11am

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