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(reply to Alison Beaver)

The pediatrician thinks that our son is sleeping in his own room/bed. And says that my husband my over react sometimes when it comes to his sickness. My husband stresses all weekend when our son is at his mothers' afraid that he is going to come home sick. And alot of the times he does come home coughing and things but then again he does go there with his asthma acting up. He doesn't feel that she is giving him his singular, vitamins, and pulmacourt nebulizer every day as he is supposed to have. Even though she says she is and the child says she is he doesn't believe it. I told him he can't blame her all the time for him getting sick. He is in public school, on a public school bus and a normal 5year old boy. That he could have been getting sick before he even went to her place. He goes Friday's at 5pm and we get him back around 11am on Sundays' unless he cries for us Friday night or Saturday and then it causes friction between my husband and his ex because she doesn't want to give in to the boy and take him home just because he wants his dad when it is her time to be with him.
I do see a therapist at MHMR but my husband will not go with me. My therapist does say some of the things that you have said. She has said that it isn't healthy for the child to be in the room or the bed at age 5. Especially when he has expressed excitedly that he wants his own room. I have told her that we just put in a full bath up here and that the playroom which is to be his room is more of a construction zone right now and not safe for him. That my husband has a heart condition and that the progress is slow on finishing the walls of the bathroom, and all materials are in the playroom. We do plan on having it finished and him moved in by this summer before school starts this fall.
Yes my husband cannot make love to me as much as he would like to because of health and medication issues. He has talked to his doctor about alternative meds to help with it but because of heart meds he has to be on he can not take the other medicine to obtain an erection as often as he would like.
I have told him that it isn't so much that we aren't making love but there is no intimacy at all. We do not lay in the bed and hold each other. He doesn't touch me or me touch him for the fact we are never in the bed together anymore. Yes we do hug and kiss each other through out the day but it isn't the same to me. Yes he has said that he can't wait until I am back in the room and in our bed again. I told him lastnight that I don't feel like we have a room or a bed anymore. That may have not been very nice but that is how I feel.
My therapist says that he choose his son over me when he said I couldn't have a fan on me because of staying so hot, which is why I moved out in the first place. When I told him that he said she was wrong that he didn't choose him over me. That he never told me to move out and didn't make me move out. I told him in a sense he did because he refused for me to have the fan on me when the childs' bed is across the room in the corner and he wouldn't have the air on him. So after two weeks of arguing about the fan and me suffering from sweating so much I just up and moved to the guest bed.
I didn't know what else to do. My therapist sees my side but my husband doesn't. He is the one who is right and I am the one who is wrong. He doesn't understand how I can be so hot as I am and says that nobody else gets like this. I told him that he doesn't know anyone who has gone through menopause then. Everyone I know was and still is like this from menopause. Even the doctor said he didn't know anyone gong through it and we see the same doctor.
I have had to have our doctor call him and tell him somethings because he wouldn't have believed it with just me telling him. And he still didn't believe it from the doctor. He said he knows what he is talking about and knows that he is right and that if I was honest with myself I would see it too.
I just don't understand. Our son's mother is half my husbands' age and he made love to her. Even when she came back the last time when he was 1 1/2 or 2 they made love for months until she left for good. I feel that maybe it is because I am not like her. I don't have a body like her, not young like her or the real mother of his child. Even though he says I am a better mother than she has ever been or ever will be. Something isn't right.....

March 5, 2011 - 11:50am

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