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We talked it over some more and he feels like if he knows I want to have sex then its no longer a surprise and no longer appealing. I enjoy sex to be spontaneous but sometimes I just want to have sex. He also talked about it being a control thing. But I'm not sure how to go about dealing with a control issue in bed. I don't think It's a power struggle, because I like being the less dominating in sex. I'm just not really sure what to think about it.