Thank you for your question and for joining EmpowHER. I'm so sorry you are in this position. We cannot tell you what to do, we can only give you insight.
My opinion is this, be glad you are not married, and children and assets are involved. In Dating, you are trying on someone to see if they fit you for the long haul. Is his behavior loving you? Check yourself and notice how you are feeling. There is a reason for that. Is this what you want long term? It will not change. Marriage doesn't change people this way, or make them more responsible. You both have to be responsible and want the same things first, and act like it too. What can you live with? Accepting his behavior sets you up for potentially needing to deal with this on an ongoing basis. Is that what you want? I totally understand the "not wanting to make a career out of dating" thing. I myself got married for the second time at 35, and immediately starting having children.
Perhaps marital counseling will help resolve some of this. And if he resists, you may want to visit with a therapist to get straight with yourself. Being cheated on is no picnic, and it may help to talk it out, and learn about why you would accept this type of behavior, and if/how to trust him or any man in the future.
I know this is a tough road for you, but as you said, time is of the essence. Think about it, and if you need further support, let us know.
Take care,
Christine
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Thank you for your question and for joining EmpowHER. I'm so sorry you are in this position. We cannot tell you what to do, we can only give you insight.
April 21, 2011 - 7:36amMy opinion is this, be glad you are not married, and children and assets are involved. In Dating, you are trying on someone to see if they fit you for the long haul. Is his behavior loving you? Check yourself and notice how you are feeling. There is a reason for that. Is this what you want long term? It will not change. Marriage doesn't change people this way, or make them more responsible. You both have to be responsible and want the same things first, and act like it too. What can you live with? Accepting his behavior sets you up for potentially needing to deal with this on an ongoing basis. Is that what you want? I totally understand the "not wanting to make a career out of dating" thing. I myself got married for the second time at 35, and immediately starting having children.
Perhaps marital counseling will help resolve some of this. And if he resists, you may want to visit with a therapist to get straight with yourself. Being cheated on is no picnic, and it may help to talk it out, and learn about why you would accept this type of behavior, and if/how to trust him or any man in the future.
I know this is a tough road for you, but as you said, time is of the essence. Think about it, and if you need further support, let us know.
Take care,
Christine
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