well update is this. when he is here i feel happy and loved but when he goes away for work (which at the moment is a LOT) i run things over in my head, feel sad, paranoid, unmotivated and so frustrated that my relationship has this hold over how i feel! It has been a year almost since he cheated, and 7 months since he stopped lying about it (the little details) so i wonder will i ever feel better.
When he came back a few days ago he told me he loved me and wanted to be together forever and have children and that he thinks all the pain and problems we've been through have made us so much stronger and closer. and i felt so bad cos i want that but i don't know if this sadness in my heart can go away cos if not then i will have to leave him. but i couldn't tell his happy shining eyes that.. not then anyway.
our relationship was really amazing before this happened, so i don't think i'm just hanging onto something toxic.
I can't afford counselling (the idea seems quite dramatic to me (where i live it's mostly for violence/addicts) but maybe there are some good books/authors that can help couples rebuild trust?
what do u think? is there something wrong with me that i tolerated this in the first place? or can a relationship heal and get better and stronger than it was?
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Hi,
well update is this. when he is here i feel happy and loved but when he goes away for work (which at the moment is a LOT) i run things over in my head, feel sad, paranoid, unmotivated and so frustrated that my relationship has this hold over how i feel! It has been a year almost since he cheated, and 7 months since he stopped lying about it (the little details) so i wonder will i ever feel better.
When he came back a few days ago he told me he loved me and wanted to be together forever and have children and that he thinks all the pain and problems we've been through have made us so much stronger and closer. and i felt so bad cos i want that but i don't know if this sadness in my heart can go away cos if not then i will have to leave him. but i couldn't tell his happy shining eyes that.. not then anyway.
our relationship was really amazing before this happened, so i don't think i'm just hanging onto something toxic.
I can't afford counselling (the idea seems quite dramatic to me (where i live it's mostly for violence/addicts) but maybe there are some good books/authors that can help couples rebuild trust?
what do u think? is there something wrong with me that i tolerated this in the first place? or can a relationship heal and get better and stronger than it was?
May 3, 2011 - 5:25amThis Comment
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