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I don't know how much help this will be. I can tell you that it can take some time to be ready to leave. Do you have friends and family who can support you in leaving? Read books like "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans and "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft. But do not beat yourself up if it takes you a long time to figure out how to leave. Listen to your gut. It's also often advised to have a plan set in place for leaving. When I had to leave, it took me years to figure it out and I didn't want to leave behind his back, but I felt I had to as he would have sabotaged my plans to leave had I told him.

Sorry this is so vague. But when you are with someone who is controlling you start being overly critical of yourself. So I guess the biggest thing I want to tell you is just to be loving towards yourself and if it takes you a long time to leave, or even if you never leave, try not to be critical of yourself. When someone is controlling, their behavior is unpredictable, so I think it is natural to feel uneasy about leaving.