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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hello,

So I am on the outside looking in and I see all of the comments from each individual about emotional abuse. I am actual the emotional abuser and it has taken me a while to admit that. I love my wife hands down. We've been married for about two and a half years now. We've had many arguments and I have said things that even hurt me for doing it.
I would apologize and things would go back to normal. I am getting the help that I need from a licensed therapist and go to both Anger and Stress Management therapy every week. Quite honestly, I don't like the anger that I feel in my heart and it's eating away at me and it's hurting my wife and my boys. My son, flew off the handle at my wife and said horrible things and in that moment...I saw a mini 17 year old version of who I am now. Angry and spitting venom... I love my boys... they should never have to see me lose my cool and yell at their mother. I grew up in a family of yelling and anger...my father would jack my mother up to show strength... then later on in life my mother became angry and broke my father down by controlling all finances within our house. My Dad couldn't stop spending...so he was given an ultimatum...either give me the money or my mother and I along with my brother would leave. So I saw two sides, one very aggressive from my Dad and one very controlling from my Mother.
I do have a problem with control... because I had joined the military to get away from the chaos within my parent's house. Eversince, I have been brought up on discipline and standards...but when I saw my wife for the first time three years ago...something melted away.
She has taught me so much just by being who she is..and I feel horrible for breaking her spirit. Everyday she questions me and claims to want to leave... and everyday I remain quiet...praying for my next therapy session to evolve into the spouse that she deserves and the spouse that she has always wanted. I know it won't happen overnight...but something struck a nerve when I saw my son yell the way that he did... I have to break the cycle.. my children need me... ladies... any help would be greatly appreciated.

v/r

Cam

June 6, 2016 - 4:18am

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