I need some input please: I reconnected a year nd a half ago with a teenage boy I hadn't seen in 37 years. We started dating very quickly hereafter and soon 4 mos later I left my home in NYC to VA to be with him. I had just moved back home from Florida a year before and had left a 9 year relationship there with an alcoholic. Life was a fairytale in love with such a wonderful man who showered me with romance and charm. We later married 8 mos after living together. Once we were married things began to change rapidly for us in our marriage. My husband suddenly slowed down all the things that made me fall in love with him. All the wonderful romance, sex and emotional bank was emptying. This disturbed because when living in separate states that would be why he was so controlling of where I went and how long it would take me to arrive to places. I had to account for all of my days activities and facetime with him all day long. Before I married my husband and I would have arguments and he would say to the "Fu@@ U" word to my face in anger. He continued to curse directly only at times when we would argue. My husband suffers from Compulsive Disorders as well so when things were not to his liking he would tell me about them and provoke the situation later. Everyday we grew somewhat distant from one another. My husband pretty much controlled everything in our home and when I arrived in VA I had no friends or any family connection there to turn to when things became so depressing for me that I felt trapped and lost my identity. I reached out to get therapy to understand what I was going through but he told me to beat this depression on my own and so I could not get any help. I later reached out to 3 times and one final time to please allow me to seek help to find out what made me so sad. He refused me the help and at that point, I felt completely helpless alone and almost crippled with fear. I felt like he wasn't there for me spiritually or emotionally. I then packed a bag with whatever items I could and headed to my parents home in NYC to seek guidance from my family. My husband now has ended our new marriage because of my actions and has trust issues with me. He was disrespectful and controlling as well as a self referenced individual. Finally now I am feeling my identity again and my life back. We tried to get together thereafter but our conversation was mostly about what he expected of me which was to return to VA and seek therapy from there and leave the one I finally am getting clarity from. He is very aggressive and controlling and I fear going back will not resolve our issues as VA now is a scary place for me. Help!
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Hello:
I need some input please: I reconnected a year nd a half ago with a teenage boy I hadn't seen in 37 years. We started dating very quickly hereafter and soon 4 mos later I left my home in NYC to VA to be with him. I had just moved back home from Florida a year before and had left a 9 year relationship there with an alcoholic. Life was a fairytale in love with such a wonderful man who showered me with romance and charm. We later married 8 mos after living together. Once we were married things began to change rapidly for us in our marriage. My husband suddenly slowed down all the things that made me fall in love with him. All the wonderful romance, sex and emotional bank was emptying. This disturbed because when living in separate states that would be why he was so controlling of where I went and how long it would take me to arrive to places. I had to account for all of my days activities and facetime with him all day long. Before I married my husband and I would have arguments and he would say to the "Fu@@ U" word to my face in anger. He continued to curse directly only at times when we would argue. My husband suffers from Compulsive Disorders as well so when things were not to his liking he would tell me about them and provoke the situation later. Everyday we grew somewhat distant from one another. My husband pretty much controlled everything in our home and when I arrived in VA I had no friends or any family connection there to turn to when things became so depressing for me that I felt trapped and lost my identity. I reached out to get therapy to understand what I was going through but he told me to beat this depression on my own and so I could not get any help. I later reached out to 3 times and one final time to please allow me to seek help to find out what made me so sad. He refused me the help and at that point, I felt completely helpless alone and almost crippled with fear. I felt like he wasn't there for me spiritually or emotionally. I then packed a bag with whatever items I could and headed to my parents home in NYC to seek guidance from my family. My husband now has ended our new marriage because of my actions and has trust issues with me. He was disrespectful and controlling as well as a self referenced individual. Finally now I am feeling my identity again and my life back. We tried to get together thereafter but our conversation was mostly about what he expected of me which was to return to VA and seek therapy from there and leave the one I finally am getting clarity from. He is very aggressive and controlling and I fear going back will not resolve our issues as VA now is a scary place for me. Help!
January 6, 2018 - 9:36amThis Comment
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