I am a man and today is the 7th anniversary of my marriage to a wonderful woman. We have our share of issues. In my opinion, most stem from a lack of communication and resultant misunderstandings.
Is it considered 'abusive' when you or your partner chooses not to share honest emotions and feelings with their spouse, or simply an unintentional personal issue with communication skills?
I perceive myself as a respectful communicator; however, I may well be the 'cause' of my wife's lack of communication of her honest feelings to, or about, me. My point is that there may be no intent to abuse the other; however, due to a lack of communication, breakdowns in trust, intimacy and simple everyday interaction suffer - recurrently.
I try not to blame my wife for not choosing to communicate her true feelings, but rather encourage her to open up and share what she is experiencing with me so I can be better aware how she feels.
As other men have written here, silence cuts both ways. Depression can lead to remaining silent and not opening up, trusting or allowing oneself to be reached. That is painful to the partner who genuinely cares for their spouse - husband or wife.
As you stated in the article and in your responses, there are many intertwined factors involved in some of these situations. They can be abusive in the classic sense; however, I believe just as often there are several underlying issues conflating which lead to a mutual loss of closeness and all that results from that situation.
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I am a man and today is the 7th anniversary of my marriage to a wonderful woman. We have our share of issues. In my opinion, most stem from a lack of communication and resultant misunderstandings.
Is it considered 'abusive' when you or your partner chooses not to share honest emotions and feelings with their spouse, or simply an unintentional personal issue with communication skills?
I perceive myself as a respectful communicator; however, I may well be the 'cause' of my wife's lack of communication of her honest feelings to, or about, me. My point is that there may be no intent to abuse the other; however, due to a lack of communication, breakdowns in trust, intimacy and simple everyday interaction suffer - recurrently.
I try not to blame my wife for not choosing to communicate her true feelings, but rather encourage her to open up and share what she is experiencing with me so I can be better aware how she feels.
As other men have written here, silence cuts both ways. Depression can lead to remaining silent and not opening up, trusting or allowing oneself to be reached. That is painful to the partner who genuinely cares for their spouse - husband or wife.
As you stated in the article and in your responses, there are many intertwined factors involved in some of these situations. They can be abusive in the classic sense; however, I believe just as often there are several underlying issues conflating which lead to a mutual loss of closeness and all that results from that situation.
April 26, 2011 - 7:44amThis Comment
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