This article sounds like good advice, but in most situations, it's not that simple.
For example, in the overwhelming majority of cases where friends and people I know have been bullied in the workplace, the bullying has existed within a framework of an unsupportive workplace. Sometimes, reporting to a supervisor is not an option because the supervisor may have a good relationship with the bully. In fact, many people, out of self-interest, only bully when they have a strong sense that they can get away with it.
I think there are other approaches to stop bullying. As someone who was bullied a lot as a kid, I find that gaining self-confidence is the most important thing. If you are truly self-confident, you cannot easily be bullied. Why? For one, you will be more assertive in your current work situation, which will discourage bullying, but for two, you will be less likely to stay in a job. Your confidence will help you to obtain other job offers, and leverage them in your current employment situation so that you obtain better treatment.
Bullying is a complex problem. The bullies themselves are typically often victims. In every case where I have actually known the details of the life of someone who was bullying others in a workplace, that person felt highly threatened by the people they were bullying, and was also under a lot of stress in their own life, both from within and outside of work. These people deserve compassion too...they are struggling, and they are just dealing with their struggle in a way that is harmful to others and not constructive. Avoiding contact with the bully will do nothing to solve these problems. Often, what is more constructive is to find some way to build a positive relationship with the bully.
Most people actually want to have good relationships with others, they just don't know how. Bullies don't really enjoy putting others down, deep down they're just afraid. They're not bad people. They're just in a bad place. And seeing this is ultimately very empowering.
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This article sounds like good advice, but in most situations, it's not that simple.
For example, in the overwhelming majority of cases where friends and people I know have been bullied in the workplace, the bullying has existed within a framework of an unsupportive workplace. Sometimes, reporting to a supervisor is not an option because the supervisor may have a good relationship with the bully. In fact, many people, out of self-interest, only bully when they have a strong sense that they can get away with it.
I think there are other approaches to stop bullying. As someone who was bullied a lot as a kid, I find that gaining self-confidence is the most important thing. If you are truly self-confident, you cannot easily be bullied. Why? For one, you will be more assertive in your current work situation, which will discourage bullying, but for two, you will be less likely to stay in a job. Your confidence will help you to obtain other job offers, and leverage them in your current employment situation so that you obtain better treatment.
Bullying is a complex problem. The bullies themselves are typically often victims. In every case where I have actually known the details of the life of someone who was bullying others in a workplace, that person felt highly threatened by the people they were bullying, and was also under a lot of stress in their own life, both from within and outside of work. These people deserve compassion too...they are struggling, and they are just dealing with their struggle in a way that is harmful to others and not constructive. Avoiding contact with the bully will do nothing to solve these problems. Often, what is more constructive is to find some way to build a positive relationship with the bully.
Most people actually want to have good relationships with others, they just don't know how. Bullies don't really enjoy putting others down, deep down they're just afraid. They're not bad people. They're just in a bad place. And seeing this is ultimately very empowering.
June 17, 2011 - 11:23amThis Comment
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