Hi Anonymous,
Adolescence is a difficult period for both parents and teens. The pressure of the college process and the realization that the time has come to leave the security of home and high school and go out into the real world add to this difficult period.
It is apparent that you and your daughter have problems communicating effectively. It is also apparent that your daughter has a low level of self-esteem.
I would not say that you failed. You love your daughter and have tried your best as a single parent. Not one of us is perfect, let alone a perfect parent.
But, you may have done her a disservice by sheltering her. Helicopter parenting does not help the child. Sometimes, a child needs to fall, needs to fail in order to learn. It is best to empower a child with the resources and knowledge to solve a problem rather that solving the problem for her.
At this point, you may need intervention. Would both of you consider meeting with a counselor, who can mediate a constructive conversation.
Your daughter may be using her weight and attitude that she doesn't care what others think or say as a shield to protect herself. I think if she can build self-esteem, she will care about her appearance and health. By feeling good about herself, she will want to interact with other young people. Community services, churches or health clinics ,may be some places to research for family counseling, offered at affordable rates or free of charge.
You need someone who you can talk with and who can help you effectively parent your daughter. Wishing you only the best.
Comment Reply
Hi Anonymous,
Adolescence is a difficult period for both parents and teens. The pressure of the college process and the realization that the time has come to leave the security of home and high school and go out into the real world add to this difficult period.
It is apparent that you and your daughter have problems communicating effectively. It is also apparent that your daughter has a low level of self-esteem.
I would not say that you failed. You love your daughter and have tried your best as a single parent. Not one of us is perfect, let alone a perfect parent.
But, you may have done her a disservice by sheltering her. Helicopter parenting does not help the child. Sometimes, a child needs to fall, needs to fail in order to learn. It is best to empower a child with the resources and knowledge to solve a problem rather that solving the problem for her.
At this point, you may need intervention. Would both of you consider meeting with a counselor, who can mediate a constructive conversation.
Your daughter may be using her weight and attitude that she doesn't care what others think or say as a shield to protect herself. I think if she can build self-esteem, she will care about her appearance and health. By feeling good about herself, she will want to interact with other young people. Community services, churches or health clinics ,may be some places to research for family counseling, offered at affordable rates or free of charge.
You need someone who you can talk with and who can help you effectively parent your daughter. Wishing you only the best.
Maryann
July 29, 2011 - 4:32pmThis Comment
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