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I am in a similar relationship situation, divorced and in love with a man who is also divorced with 2 children, and in our 50's......it is both simple and complex at the same time. I think our cultural tolerance of casual sex and wide acceptance of different lifestyle choices sets up the ease for this situation to happen, and I have thought about being more demanding of marriage, because although we are exclusive and openly in love with each other, I would like to truly share our lives together. However, I don't want to force the issue and get into a marriage where my partner didn't want to get married as much a I did, but didn't want to lose me either.

I figure that even though I am not getting "everything I want" there are advantages I get by maintaining my independence, and my boyfriend is losing out, even though it is by choice, because it would be better for him to be married to me. He is the one who is risking his happiness in the end and settling for a less satisfying lifestyle, and it is very short sighted. What about ending up alone in the end for him? I am willing to let fate play its role in my life, because sometimes I have found I am being protected by not getting everything I want at the moment.

August 12, 2011 - 3:22am

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