Thank you for your question. I'm glad you can admit that him having a child is something you have a problem with right now but I have a few questions-- did it bother you before you found out that he could possibly have a second child? Is he still irresponsible now as he was 5 years ago?
Is this a feeling of jealousy or is it this a feeling of fear that he may have a child with you an leave you the same way he left his first child and possibly a second?
There are lots of things you must consider before making a change. You have to first dig deep inside yourself and find out what is really bothering you. I, personally, have a step daughter who is now going on 12 but was 5 years old when I came into her life. As the grown up, it is not that child's job to win your heart-- it is your job to win theirs. This can only happen if you truly love the man you're with, feel secure in your relationship, and can forget about his past and focus on your future together as a family. It isn't easy to accept that he has already had his first child and that it isn't with you but a mature woman can look past this and patiently wait her turn for children. In the meantime, figure out what it is that's really eating at you and even if he only sees her twice a year, make sure those two times a year are the ones that she looks forward to the most.
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Hi Anon,
Thank you for your question. I'm glad you can admit that him having a child is something you have a problem with right now but I have a few questions-- did it bother you before you found out that he could possibly have a second child? Is he still irresponsible now as he was 5 years ago?
Is this a feeling of jealousy or is it this a feeling of fear that he may have a child with you an leave you the same way he left his first child and possibly a second?
There are lots of things you must consider before making a change. You have to first dig deep inside yourself and find out what is really bothering you. I, personally, have a step daughter who is now going on 12 but was 5 years old when I came into her life. As the grown up, it is not that child's job to win your heart-- it is your job to win theirs. This can only happen if you truly love the man you're with, feel secure in your relationship, and can forget about his past and focus on your future together as a family. It isn't easy to accept that he has already had his first child and that it isn't with you but a mature woman can look past this and patiently wait her turn for children. In the meantime, figure out what it is that's really eating at you and even if he only sees her twice a year, make sure those two times a year are the ones that she looks forward to the most.
Best Wishes,
Rosa
September 11, 2011 - 12:45pmThis Comment
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