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i'm really sorry to hear what your going through, you are not crazy just disrespected by the sounds of it. if i were you i would work on my self image as well as talk to your partner, nothing beats communication and trust when it comes to a relationship, i would express myself to your partner about what you feel in your desires that are lacking and even ask him if he is okay, you never know (maybe he is stressed or even embarrassed about his own body in ed) as for the porn watching, at his age he should be over it by now, especially since he is with you, seriously if he fails to even listen to you, your signs are obvious...