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Dear Anon,

I'm so sorry that you feel alone and as a parent, I can certainly understand why you wouldn't want your children to see you cry.
Have you talked to your doctor about your depression? Have you considered seeing a therapist? I know you want help, I can tell by the way you write about your depression. I feel like you would benefit from talking to your doctor and definitely seeing a therapist regarding your feelings post-hysterectomy.

Here is a hysterectomy group for you:
https://www.empowher.com/groups/No-ovarys-now-what and we also have a depression group: https://www.empowher.com/groups/Depression

Hope this helps and that you find the help that you need,

Rosa