We usually communicate really well and this problem has seemed to come out of nowhere. he used to be so sensitive to my feelings and wants and now that we have established a serious relationship he doesn't seem to want to work as hard as i do at it. when i try to communicate with him he calls it complaining and tells me im insecure. i approach the subject of sex very gently and open-minded with him so that it doesn't hit him wrong to where he thinks i'm unhappy with our sex life or that hes doing something wrong. he used to be so in tune to my feelings and always pushed for me to communicate more..now that i do..he gets aggravated. i really dont understand the masturbating thing..weve only been together 9 months. he says he doesn't need sex every day and neither do i..but like i said he takes care of himself on a daily basis instead of rolling over and making love to me..i tell him it makes me insecure and feel unattractive..but since he denies it we get nowhere. im willing to fix the issue any way i can..but he would rather roll over and go to sleep than talk about our problems..there was a time when all he cared about was making love to me and communicating..now he says he doesn't like the way it makes him feel when i "complain" and he doesn't want to feel like he has to work to make me happy. i feel like the person he showed me in the beginning of our relationship is different than who he really is. i know he loves me..but i cant make it work by myself. i tried to explain all of this to him,but he always feels like im placing some kind of blame on him and not excepting him for who he is..counseling is out of the question because hes to stubborn to listen to anyone else. im wondering if our age difference might be a factor in all this. we are also raising four kids together..he has 2 boys from a previous marriage and i have two girls from a previous marriage. he doesn't want me to leave and tells me he loves me all the time..but i still feel like there is a wall between us that wasnt there before.
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We usually communicate really well and this problem has seemed to come out of nowhere. he used to be so sensitive to my feelings and wants and now that we have established a serious relationship he doesn't seem to want to work as hard as i do at it. when i try to communicate with him he calls it complaining and tells me im insecure. i approach the subject of sex very gently and open-minded with him so that it doesn't hit him wrong to where he thinks i'm unhappy with our sex life or that hes doing something wrong. he used to be so in tune to my feelings and always pushed for me to communicate more..now that i do..he gets aggravated. i really dont understand the masturbating thing..weve only been together 9 months. he says he doesn't need sex every day and neither do i..but like i said he takes care of himself on a daily basis instead of rolling over and making love to me..i tell him it makes me insecure and feel unattractive..but since he denies it we get nowhere. im willing to fix the issue any way i can..but he would rather roll over and go to sleep than talk about our problems..there was a time when all he cared about was making love to me and communicating..now he says he doesn't like the way it makes him feel when i "complain" and he doesn't want to feel like he has to work to make me happy. i feel like the person he showed me in the beginning of our relationship is different than who he really is. i know he loves me..but i cant make it work by myself. i tried to explain all of this to him,but he always feels like im placing some kind of blame on him and not excepting him for who he is..counseling is out of the question because hes to stubborn to listen to anyone else. im wondering if our age difference might be a factor in all this. we are also raising four kids together..he has 2 boys from a previous marriage and i have two girls from a previous marriage. he doesn't want me to leave and tells me he loves me all the time..but i still feel like there is a wall between us that wasnt there before.
September 4, 2012 - 11:17amThis Comment
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