Thank you for reaching out to the EmpowHER community to get some advice on what to do about this unfortunate situation.
First thing I would do is sit down with your hubby and clear the air with him. You and he need to be on the same page and be honest with each other. A marriage is at it's strongest when the two people in it communicate about the 'stuff' that is really bothering them.
Let your husband know that this woman is really getting under your skin and her behavior is not appropriate. You and your husband need to create a plan on how to move forward and do it together.
Without knowing all the details, I can only advise you based on what you have told me and how I think it would be best moving forward.
It doesn't sound like this woman has any business commenting on you and your husband's marriage. What takes place between an husband and wife is exactly that...it's between you two...no one else. Your marriage is private and no one should be meddling in your affairs (unless you invite them into your lives). It sounds to me like you don't want this woman in your marriage and so, it needs to stop. Will your husband agree to this?
If you can both agree, you need to let her know that Facebook and texting is inappropriate and that you would appreciate it if she stopped communicating with you. That also means, that you have to stop texting her too etc.
As for the guy on FB that sent you the messages, you need to let him know too that you don't wish to play in these childish games and would appreciate him keeping whatever information he has to himself.
I know it sounds harsh, but if all this second hand info keeps getting passed around...you are only going to get angrier and more frustrated and the only thing that suffers is the bond between you and your husband.
I know it's easier said than done, but ignore all the drama and try to stay clear of it. Negative and toxic people feed off of people reacting to things. If you don't let it bother you, she'll probably stop and find someone or somewhere else to meddle.
Comment Reply
Hi Bala,
Thank you for reaching out to the EmpowHER community to get some advice on what to do about this unfortunate situation.
First thing I would do is sit down with your hubby and clear the air with him. You and he need to be on the same page and be honest with each other. A marriage is at it's strongest when the two people in it communicate about the 'stuff' that is really bothering them.
Let your husband know that this woman is really getting under your skin and her behavior is not appropriate. You and your husband need to create a plan on how to move forward and do it together.
Without knowing all the details, I can only advise you based on what you have told me and how I think it would be best moving forward.
It doesn't sound like this woman has any business commenting on you and your husband's marriage. What takes place between an husband and wife is exactly that...it's between you two...no one else. Your marriage is private and no one should be meddling in your affairs (unless you invite them into your lives). It sounds to me like you don't want this woman in your marriage and so, it needs to stop. Will your husband agree to this?
If you can both agree, you need to let her know that Facebook and texting is inappropriate and that you would appreciate it if she stopped communicating with you. That also means, that you have to stop texting her too etc.
As for the guy on FB that sent you the messages, you need to let him know too that you don't wish to play in these childish games and would appreciate him keeping whatever information he has to himself.
I know it sounds harsh, but if all this second hand info keeps getting passed around...you are only going to get angrier and more frustrated and the only thing that suffers is the bond between you and your husband.
I know it's easier said than done, but ignore all the drama and try to stay clear of it. Negative and toxic people feed off of people reacting to things. If you don't let it bother you, she'll probably stop and find someone or somewhere else to meddle.
Bala, did this help? What do you think?
Best,
Kristin
October 10, 2014 - 12:31pmThis Comment
Reply