Dear Anonymous - Thanks for your question and welcome to EmpowHER.
I am sorry to read about the difficulties in your relationship but we’re here to help.There are many reasons why sex stops or is drastically reduced in a relationship. It can be due to stress, ill-health, a hectic schedule, illness, fatigue, depression, medications or a lack of interest in sex. A person may want to stop having sex with someone because they are no longer sexually interested in them.
To understand why your intimate life is lacking, you will need to talk to your wife. She is the only one who can tell you the truth, all we can do is give you possibilities. Anything else is a guessing game as we do not know your relationship, we do not know your wife and we don’t know what she has to say about things.
You can tell your wife the truth and not play head games, assuming you are writing because this is a concern for you. If you love her, miss the intimacy and what to work with her to make things better, then say so.
Don't beg for sex or criticize. It’s time to have an adult conversation in this adult relationship. Any relationship can be saved if both parties are willing to be honest and are willing to work through their problems. Therapy may be helpful to you. But without this, the relationship will stay as it is or get worse.Make a point of helping to make things better and I hope your wife will work with you. If she is not interested in making any kind of changes, then the changes will have to come from you. You will have to decide if this is what you want from your life or if you want more.
You cannot “fix” or change a person that does not want to be changed. Please keep us posted and make sure your happiness is also a priority.
Comment Reply
Dear Anonymous - Thanks for your question and welcome to EmpowHER.
I am sorry to read about the difficulties in your relationship but we’re here to help.There are many reasons why sex stops or is drastically reduced in a relationship. It can be due to stress, ill-health, a hectic schedule, illness, fatigue, depression, medications or a lack of interest in sex. A person may want to stop having sex with someone because they are no longer sexually interested in them.
To understand why your intimate life is lacking, you will need to talk to your wife. She is the only one who can tell you the truth, all we can do is give you possibilities. Anything else is a guessing game as we do not know your relationship, we do not know your wife and we don’t know what she has to say about things.
You can tell your wife the truth and not play head games, assuming you are writing because this is a concern for you. If you love her, miss the intimacy and what to work with her to make things better, then say so.
Don't beg for sex or criticize. It’s time to have an adult conversation in this adult relationship. Any relationship can be saved if both parties are willing to be honest and are willing to work through their problems. Therapy may be helpful to you. But without this, the relationship will stay as it is or get worse.Make a point of helping to make things better and I hope your wife will work with you. If she is not interested in making any kind of changes, then the changes will have to come from you. You will have to decide if this is what you want from your life or if you want more.
You cannot “fix” or change a person that does not want to be changed. Please keep us posted and make sure your happiness is also a priority.
Hope this helps you resolve your situation.
Best,
Pam
October 19, 2014 - 6:03pmThis Comment
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