Thank you for writing and I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
This may not be an issue of growing up - your husband may have a genuine compulsion/obsession with porn. Like any addiction, it's extremely hard to quit alone.
At the same time, he's checking out probably big plastic breasts and wigs and "porn-star makeup" and you're doing the same for him, by making the same videos. Stop competing against these women; it's beneath you and you shouldn't have to. Even if you don't think you're competing, you are. Until he gets some help, you'll never be enough- these others will always be a part of his harem.
Addicts, by their very nature, are completely selfish. You can ask him to stop or get help but you can't force him. He has a decision to make - get help or not. And you have decisions to make too - stay and work through this, stay and accept the way things are, or leave.
I wish you the best.
Susan
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Hello Anon
Thank you for writing and I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
This may not be an issue of growing up - your husband may have a genuine compulsion/obsession with porn. Like any addiction, it's extremely hard to quit alone.
At the same time, he's checking out probably big plastic breasts and wigs and "porn-star makeup" and you're doing the same for him, by making the same videos. Stop competing against these women; it's beneath you and you shouldn't have to. Even if you don't think you're competing, you are. Until he gets some help, you'll never be enough- these others will always be a part of his harem.
Addicts, by their very nature, are completely selfish. You can ask him to stop or get help but you can't force him. He has a decision to make - get help or not. And you have decisions to make too - stay and work through this, stay and accept the way things are, or leave.
September 8, 2017 - 3:02pmI wish you the best.
Susan
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