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20 years old & never worn a tampon

By Anonymous June 14, 2011 - 8:44pm
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I am 20 years old, I have been fingered and had oral sex numerous times, but for some reason I simply cannot use a tampon. I have tried several times but I get very nervous and tense and each time I try, I get more discouraged. What I don't understand is why I have no problem being fingered or receiving oral sex, but when it comes to tampons I just can't do it. How do I get over this mental block?

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Hi Anon,

Believe it or not, everyone who has worn a tampon has faced this hurdle before. My first three attempts at inserting a tampon were complete failures because instead of relaxing I was tensing up.

It’s a good idea to use the smallest size tampon when you are learning how to use tampons for the first time. It is also easier to insert it when your menstrual flow is moderate to heavy as this allows the tampon to glide in more easily. By following the simple guidelines below, as well as the instructions that come with the tampons, your first experience with tampons should be easy. Remember, the more you relax, the easier the insertion will be. When you are nervous, your muscles tense up, which can make inserting the tampon more difficult.

Instructions for inserting a tampon with a built-in applicator:

Wash your hands with soap and water. With dry hands, unwrap the tampon. If you drop the tampon on the floor, throw it away and begin again with a new tampon.

Sit or stand in a comfortable position. Some women prefer to place one leg on the toilet seat or tub, while others prefer to squat down or sit on the toilet with your legs wide open. After you find a position that is most comfortable for you, hold the tampon with the fingers that you write with. Hold the middle of the tampon, at the spot where the smaller, inner tube inserts into the larger, outer tube. Make sure the string is visible and pointing away from your body.

With your other hand, open the labia (the folds of skin around the vaginal opening) and position the tampon in the vaginal opening.

Do NOT perform this next step until you feel relaxed-- if you feel tense, you will not get anything in there... Think of things that ease and relax you, happy thoughts, think that millions of women use tampons every day and that one day you won't be thinking about inserting the tampon, it will just come naturally. Then stop thinking and just relax...

Gently push the tampon into the opening, aiming for the small of your back. Stop pushing in when your fingers touch your body and the applicator, or outer tube, is completely inside the vagina.

Now, use your index finger to push the inner tube (the tube where the removal string is visible) in through the outer tube. This pushes the tampon into the vagina.
Once the inner tube is all the way in, use your thumb and middle finger to remove the applicator or outer tube. Make sure that the string hangs outside of your vaginal opening. Later, when you are ready to remove the tampon, hold the string and gently pull it downward until the entire tampon is out.

If the tampon is inserted correctly, you should not feel it. If you feel uncomfortable in any way, you may have inserted the tampon incorrectly or the tampon may not be placed far enough into the vagina. If this happens, just remove the tampon and start again with a new tampon. Remember that practice makes perfect. If you don't get it on the first try, your second try will most likely be successful. Instead of getting frustrated and giving up, relax and try again!

Wishing you the best,


June 15, 2011 - 7:12am
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