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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.
My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!
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Great post, but I was caught by your statement that it would be selfish to have an abortion if the baby was determined as not "normal." Having been in that situation when I had to decide whether to abort or go through with a doomed pregnancy where my twin boys had a very severe birth defect, I feel very strongly that we shouldn't judge another woman's decision. Yes, I did go through with the pregnancy, but I was 29 years old at the time. With regards to a woman who's in her mid- to late-40's, she may not have the financial ability, energy, desire, not to mention lifespan, to deal with a special needs child. And what happens to that child when she passes on? The child may not be grown up yet. This is a huge consideration. I don't think it's selfish at all for an "older" woman to abort a child that was pre-determined to have a defect of some kind. Besides, we shouldn't judge each other when it comes to a heart-wrenching decision like this, especially when we haven't been there ourselves.
June 12, 2009 - 12:09pmThis Comment
I am 38 but feel 22! I have every intention of having a baby "late"...if atall. I may try in my 40's and I don't think that that is a big deal in any way. Some women can be as young and fit at 45 as at 22! It's what you want and what feels right! Go for it if you want to!
June 11, 2009 - 3:06pmI know 22 year olds that look and seem like middle aged women, being overweight and unfit and it's more dangerous for them to have kids.
If you feel capable, fit and youthful, go for it and good luck!
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I think this is a myth. I thought the same thing. Eggs age--even if you think you don't.
June 15, 2011 - 4:05pmThis Comment
I think it's too old, but that only applies to myself. I think as long as you are responsible for your child, you should not care what others think about you having a child at that age.
June 11, 2009 - 12:40pmThis Comment
Im 45 and 20 weeks pregnant with my second child, from my second marriage. It was a planned pregnancy and we had a result within 5 months.... I thought my chances of falling pregnant would be very slim indeed. My daughter is 14 and so excited about getting a little sister. I had an amnio, knowing I was high risk but the results came back clear and now I can enjoy the rest of my pregnancy after a knuckle biting "I hope all is well and what if its not" period.
June 11, 2009 - 10:55amAt 40 I wanted to be sterilised, having no intention of settling down again and the thought of remarriage was a total no no! But I met a wonderful man and have started over again. At a time when my career was on upturn Ive had to make a sacrifice where that is concerned but Im happy with my choice. I dont know what a 45 year old is meant to feel like! But I have a youthful outlook to life, Im not worried what others think: that only puts un necessary pressure on you and your family.
Best wishes, whatever you decide!
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I think it is wonderful.....how is your baby doing...and you?
January 20, 2012 - 5:18pmThis Comment
Hey there. I read your comment about being 45 and 20 weeks pregnant and I think it is wonderful. I am 44 and want to have another baby. How did everything go for you and your baby?
Thanks,
January 20, 2012 - 5:14pmXOXO
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Awesome-I am 44 and trying, did you have any progesterone issues did you take anything or was it all natural?
November 15, 2011 - 3:34pmThis Comment
I am so happy for you I am 44 and wanting another too so we are trying just trying to get all my hormones in order now. Did you do progersterone or anything? I'v has a miss recently I'm sure that's what it was.-L
November 15, 2011 - 3:31pmThis Comment
Thank you, this is really a wonderful comment. Very positive and I am so looking forward to your answer as to how did it go with your labor and your baby? How did it go between you and your husband? Is it for him his first child or does he have children from previous marrriage?
I am 44 and about to make a decision.
June 19, 2010 - 1:38pmThis Comment