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Aftermath of Rape:Feelings

By July 22, 2012 - 7:31pm
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I was raped as a kid, when I was about 4 years old. I was wondering why I don't feel revengeful or guility about it. I have really seen no one about it nor have I talked about it in detail. I have told my friend who was molested that I was raped, she gave me a hug and that was it. I do remember it feeling awkward to even talk about it but, I still don't understand my feelings about the whole ordeal. Am I suppose to feel like the world as ended or that I will never be the same. Did being raped as a kid affect me differently than a rape victim who was raped older? Or could it be that my view of the incident is in a more positive outlook? I just want to know why I don't have similar feelings that other people have about being raped?

I don't feel like it was my fault, I don't really view myself as a rape victim, I kind of feel like I'm passed that point. I don't really care so much about my rapist, whatever happens to him, I don't wanna know. He was a relative of mine so maybe that affected me in some way. I don't express any resentment towards my rapist in the means that I know I can't change what had happened, I can only move on. Is it healthy to think that way? I'm just really confused.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Nadine and thank you for your post!

It's up to you to decide what works for you. I really do think a trained therapist can really help sort this for you but ultimately that is your decision.

One downside is that the pedophile rapist will get away with this - this isn't said in a way to tell you that you must seek revenge, but just to say that justice will never be served to this man. You are likely to be but one of his victims and it's a shame to know that he gets to live a full life, while being a despicable criminal.

But it's unlikely, with so much time past, that anything could happen to him due to what he did to you and your concern should be you - healing, being strong and not allowing what he did to you to control your life. There are no real "rights and wrongs" in this situations in terms of how to feel because everyone is different and it comes down to the individual. It's not for us to say that your attitude to this is right or wrong but since you want to move on, put the past behind you and live your own life, I cannot see how this could be a bad thing!

Again, if you are willing at some stage in your life (it doesn't have to be soon) I think a therapist could really help but that's your call. Your job is to take care of you the best you can, but everyone could  do with a little help sometimes. It's just something to think about.



July 23, 2012 - 5:09am
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