Aftermath of Rape:Feelings

By Anonymous July 22, 2012 - 7:31pm

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I was raped as a kid, when I was about 4 years old. I was wondering why I don't feel revengeful or guility about it. I have really seen no one about it nor have I talked about it in detail. I have told my friend who was molested that I was raped, she gave me a hug and that was it. I do remember it feeling awkward to even talk about it but, I still don't understand my feelings about the whole ordeal. Am I suppose to feel like the world as ended or that I will never be the same. Did being raped as a kid affect me differently than a rape victim who was raped older? Or could it be that my view of the incident is in a more positive outlook? I just want to know why I don't have similar feelings that other people have about being raped?

I don't feel like it was my fault, I don't really view myself as a rape victim, I kind of feel like I'm passed that point. I don't really care so much about my rapist, whatever happens to him, I don't wanna know. He was a relative of mine so maybe that affected me in some way. I don't express any resentment towards my rapist in the means that I know I can't change what had happened, I can only move on. Is it healthy to think that way? I'm just really confused.