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Anyone using the Mirena IUD have a low sex drive? Mine is almost non existant! :o(

By April 24, 2009 - 1:10pm
 
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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Yeah, my wife did go talk to her ob about it and got her hormone levels tested. In my opinion the low sex drive got dramatically worse the same time as the 2nd Mirena was put in. Apparently the ob thought that it wasn't the problem. I'm not sure exactly how she concluded that or what my wife's description of the problem was since she thinks that it's not the problem also. I feel like it's trying to convince a crazy person they're crazy. She's been on this Mirena for so long that it's all she can remember, so she thinks it's normal. And, of course, it could be normal, but I figure why not try and take it out and see. But, she says no. A sex counselor could be good. I will have to see if she's up for it. Any talk about it seems to be negative.

November 19, 2015 - 7:21pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I really appreciate your comments. I think you are right on about it having some sort of physiological effect. I tried to see if my wife would take it out on a trial basis, but it's a no go. She is too worried about how her body would react (i.e. heavy periods etc). I just don't understand. This is our marriage and it can always be put back in later if it turns out that the Mirena has nothing to do with it. She said that she feels like she is being bullied to take it out.

She also has had ovarian cysts and recently had to have surgery on them. I mentioned that this is another side effect of Mirena, but it didn't even register with her. She just thinks that the Mirena has nothing to do with any of the issues we have. So, basically at this point if I brought it up again then she would just get angry and resent me, which wouldn't help the cause. I feel like this Mirena is like the ring from Lord of the Rings. I'll never take her precious. Haha. Probably a bad joke, but at this point all I can hope for is that the Mirena has nothing to do with it and just push forward, so I have to laugh at something.

Funny thing too is that we also read the love languages book. I do think it helped me understand a lot of things better, but at this point my wife has actually said that she doesn't even know what she likes at this point in terms of affection. It's driving me nuts that she thinks that the Mirena couldn't possibly be affecting her. It's probably going to take a separation and threat of divorce for her to take it out.

November 3, 2015 - 5:41am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I wish you guys the best of luck. I had ovarian cysts as well and my obgyn stated that it was directly due to the mirena. That's one of their more common side effects. I hope you don't have to threaten divorce.

November 3, 2015 - 5:46am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I personally wanted nothing to do with it. I stopped masturbating and watching porn. And the thought of me touching me and someone else touching me was something that I just didn't want. Before mirena my sex drive was healthy. Once.it was in, I had a lot of mental issues from the little bit of hormones the mirena puts into the body. I did not have my levels checked but after speaking to my obgyn, my pcp and my psychiatrist, they all agreed that the mirena should be removed. So I got it removed. And I'm so thankful I did. I hope this little bit of information helps

October 29, 2015 - 9:48am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Thank you for your comments and honesty. My wife used to masturbate quite a bit, but I think since the second round of Mirena it's decreased quite a bit. But, she won't take it out.

November 3, 2015 - 5:46am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I have had the Mirina for two years and my sex drive has stopped. Before I had this put in I would want to make love so regularly. I've been with my partner for thirteen years. I will go and further investigate as now I've read these great stories making me aware. Thanks so moch for sharing.

November 1, 2015 - 4:00am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

has your sex drive returned or is it too soon to tell?

October 30, 2015 - 12:29am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Yes it did, and the depression and mood swings I was getting are slowly easing up as well.

October 30, 2015 - 7:06am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Brother the similarities are scary. I have an 8 year old and another son. We have the exact same issues. My wife actually had it removed 8 months ago and the problem still persists. We are in counseling. She had been avoiding it all together, but lately has been trying to make herself be with me. She has terrible anxiety about sex and we can't even kiss.
I think Mirena has some to do with this as it zapped her drive, but she continued to be with me.... thus developing the aversion to sex. I am sure kids contributed to lack of emotional connection.
She also has had a rocky relationship with her mother that has brought things to light within the last year.
I am sorry that you are going through the same thing. I have heard that it might could take up to a year for getting the drive back after removing this thing. Still holding out hope that it has something to do with it and magically her drive will return. I have anxiety about her anxiety. It's a damned spiral.
I just keep praying and striving to change myself to be a better man, husband and love like Jesus... when she cannot love me back in the way that I feel like I need.
This article on sexual aversion kind of helped me to understand how we got at this place and to understand that it is not our whole marriage, just this one part is lacking (not that it makes it any easier):
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5047_qa.html

I am sorry you are going through this. It is the toughest thing I've ever gone through.

October 29, 2015 - 9:19am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this too, but it's definitely nice to have someone to talk to and to hear what they have tried and if it helped or not. I read the link you posted about aversion. Thanks for posting it. I think some of it applies to me. Definitely the part about me complaining about the lack of sex and that having the opposite affect, meaning she got tired of hearing it and it became negative.

My wife also had a very very rough relationship with her mother and she is saying that she developed a coping mechanism where she basically shuts down with any conflict. She does acknowledge that this isn't a good way to handle things, so that's cool. So, now we are going over arguments we had 6 years ago that aren't even relevant now in terms of subject matter, but she has held on to them and says that it's why she is shut down emotionally.

I personally think that it's great that we are working through some of the old stuff, but it is a desire to be close to another person that gets us through a lot of the tough times of marriage. And, the urge to be close to someone is all hormonal. So, if the Mirena is taking some of that away then working through the old stuff may help us become great friends and really understand each other, which we kind of already are and do, but in my opinion, without affection then there really isn't a marriage. It's just two friends raising a kid or kids. And, once the kids leave then it's divorce time.

I definitely wish the best for you. My wife has said that she is not taking the Mirena out. So, I'm focusing on what I can control, which is work and my relationship with my son. I realize it's probably a slow death to the marriage, but I find myself being angry if I keep thinking about our relationship, and sometimes that has hurt the relationship instead of helped it.

I'd love to hear how your marriage is doing down the road and if taking the Mirena out did finally help. Also, if you found that something else has really helped please let me know.

November 3, 2015 - 6:29am
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