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Anyone using the Mirena IUD have a low sex drive? Mine is almost non existant! :o(

By Kara April 24, 2009 - 1:10pm
 
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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm experiencing the same thing with my fiancé right now. No sex drive at all, and it doesn't seem to bother her. She just keeps telling me to be patient and gets upset with me when I bring it up. But after the last 8 months of her pregnancy with no sex drive, then a year of no sex drive because of the mirena, it takes not only a physical toll, but definitely a mental and emotional toll on a guy. My advice is to please give it your best shot even if you're not "in the mood" or at least assist him in his "activities". Men do things all the time that they aren't necessarily in the mood for just to make their significant other feel good, like massages and cuddling, and even just doing random things daily. That's something my fiancé doesn't seem to understand and she won't put in any sort of effort to make me feel wanted if she isn't getting something from it. I'm not saying anybody should feel obligated to have sex, but please be aware that making your loved one feel not wanted for close to two years more than drags them down. I'm an emotional wreck because of it

May 22, 2015 - 1:31pm
pavelnunez (reply to Anonymous)

"... I'm not saying anybody should feel obligated to have sex..." But what's wrong about having sex? Advaced societies doesn't take into account the toll of the guys, they only see the suffering of the women, but I don't hear anybody talking about us.

There's nothing wrong about sex, man and woman enjoy it a lot, so why are you talking about "... feel obligated ... " its a pleasure for both. Don't miss the point!!

May 23, 2015 - 7:28am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to pavelnunez)

I know it should be a pleasure for both men and women to have sex. That's why no one should feel obligated to do it. If the sex drive is not there, and a woman feels like they "have to" do it just because she's married or engaged, whatever the case may be, it takes away from it for both people involved. No one should feel obligated to have sex, they should want to. But at the same time women who are on birth control that kills their sex drive need to understand what it can do to their loved ones emotional and mental state to not feel wanted. Which was my point for posting. It's a difficult situation to not feel like you "have to" do it but at the same time keep your loved one feeling wanted. It's not easy, but I was giving my situation as a reference point, to let women who might be going through the same thing to know what it does to their significant other so they can put forth the effort or do whatever they can to avoid making their S.O. feel unwanted.

May 26, 2015 - 8:39am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

So, I just went through this experience from the woman's side. I had my Mirena for 15 months before I got it out and things are much better now (libido returned almost immediately). I can tell you that it's really difficult from the female perspective as well. I still had sex with my husband 1-2 times each week and tried my best to "get into it", but he could tell there was a difference. Similarly, I'm sure your SO can tell you're doing things you aren't into ("Men do things all the time that they aren't necessarily in the mood for just to make their significant other feel good, like massages and cuddling, and even just doing random things daily.") The thing that really helped me want to be intimate, even when I wasn't really feeling it, was when we shared GENUINE intimacy. Not cuddling with the goal of getting sex, not going straight for sexual touching. But hanging out, talking, caressing, snuggling, etc, without trying to initiate sex. Sometimes that would lead to sex that night. More often, I'd wake up the next day feeling very close to my husband because we'd shared an emotionally intimate connection the night before, and we'd end up having some morning sex. It still wasn't great for me, but I'd want to make him happy because I felt emotionally close to him. Not sure if any of that is making sense, but it played a big part in getting us through a rough time. Less focus on sex, more focus on emotional intimacy = more sex in the end.

July 11, 2015 - 11:51am
Dutty13 (reply to Anonymous)

Just give her time. My husband would be upset because I never wanted to have sex either. But I would once in awhile just to make him happy. Then for some odd reason my attitude changed, I opened my eyes and realized he was hurting, and I was making him feel unwanted. After a long talk, we now have sex regularly. All I needed to hear was how I making him feel, and it changed everything. We do foreplay, and make out. It makes it amazing. See if she will try.

May 22, 2015 - 1:48pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

After reading these comments it does give me a since of relief knowing it's not just me. I feel horrible that my sex drive is so low and I feel horrible for my husband but I don't want to get the IUD removed because I don't want any more kids and this is my second mirena and my sex drive was low with the first IUD but now it's completely gone. Definitely something that I will be working on from here on out.

May 19, 2015 - 1:24pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I have experienced exactly the same with my wife. Her normally low sex drive is now totally non existent, since having this IUD fitted. The joke was it wasnt even fitted for birth control purposes, but to address heavy almost non stiop periods lasting over two weeks.

Her non existant sex drive doesn't seem to worry her one bit, but is obviously taking its toll on me.
She doesnt seem to worry one bit about the effect its having on our marriage, and the GP when questioned about it, just dismisses the whole thing, saying repeatedly give it a few more months. I'm sure these GPs get commission from the manufacturers to push it, but if it was thier own relationship suffering would they be so keen to promote it?

As birth control it certainly works, as 100% reliable if no sex.

My final word to anyone is that if you value your relationship with parter / spouse, avoid this thing like the plague!!

May 13, 2015 - 10:26am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am in tears reading these comments! Years of birth control and last 7 years on Mirena and my sexdrive was GONE! Being married to a man that is so attractive and awesome and to have no desire, just broke my heart. Last year my IUD fell out, best thing that could happen. Took almost a year to get my sexdrive back and I feel like a new person

May 11, 2015 - 5:25am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I thank you for posting that it took a year. I am very concerned after 3 months (almost to the day) that her drive has not returned. She cannot articulate what the problem is either... other than going through a lot of relational issues with her mom. We are in counseling, but you have just given me huge hope that things will eventually come out okay in regards to our intimate life. I thank you for that!

May 11, 2015 - 8:09am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Please continue being supportive and with time you will see a change! My husband is shocked and doesn't know what to think of the "new" me. It has been so tough for him and it breaks my heart that we went through so many years with a minimal sexlife.
I truly feel like a new person!
Hang in there! Believe me, it's worth the wait!

May 11, 2015 - 8:47am
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