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The article on emotional abuse - silent marriage killer, was written as if 100% of these situations involve a man abusing his wife. In reality, this also occurs to men in marriages. Why doesn't the article present this reality?

By Anonymous June 10, 2016 - 6:42am
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I know from experience this form of abuse works both ways. It isn't only men who cause this for women. Women can abuse their husbands as well. I believe this should be presented equally. Thanks.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon!

Thanks for your feedback, we welcome all opinions!

EmpowHER (by the very name HER) is a website dedicated to the health and wellness of women. While we also discuss men's health and have written many articles for men and women to encourage them to keep their men's health and wellness in check, this site is primarily for women. Therefore we discuss women's issues for the most part although we value men's opinions too and have helped many men.

The article was one woman's experience and opinions. It doesn't mean it begins and ends with her or with women only.

There are many men's websites out there - Men's Health being a big one - that discuss this topic from the male perspective.

We are aware that men are also abused by women. We have many men post on this topic/thread that you are referring to.

Men's sites don't discuss in any detail things that affect women like reproductive cancers or menopause or pregnancy/childbirth/mothering. This is what specialty sites are for. We are a specialty site.

I suggest you also check out Men's Health, Men's Journal, Men's Health Network.org or AskMen.com.

Feel free to post a Share about your own experiences here on EmpowHER.


June 10, 2016 - 7:07am
(reply to Susan Cody)

Thanks for your response; I appreciate the opportunity to respond back to you. My premise is as follows:
If a wife is emotionally abusive (which we agree does happen), how will she come away from the article better off than before?
There is nothing to suggest she may be the abuser.

I realize this is a 'specialty site', however; the topic of emotional abuse clearly affects both men and women. I'm fully aware of various men's 'specialty sites'. Frankly, your suggestion I check those out completely misses the point of my submission.

If men read only men's 'specialty site' info and women only women's 'specialty site' info, and they all take only one perspective, how will that achieve better marriages and healthier readers?

I've read the article thoroughly twice. There is nothing in it to indicate the author is writing from her own experiences - as you stated.

Men don't have reproductive cancers or become pregnant or give birth or endure menopause; why would you need to list those? This article was about emotional health and that is not a physical trait of one sex.

The article was about how emotional abuse can 'kill' a marriage. If a woman who is the emotional abuser reads this article - with 100% of the emphasis on men as the abusers - what chance will she have of recognizing her role as a possible abuser and seeking appropriate assistance (help)?

Since the stated goal is to 'help' women (and their marriages), the article completely misses the opportunity to help those who may be responsible for the emotional abuse in their marriage.

June 10, 2016 - 7:49am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Toni Jarana)

The writer was an emotionally abused wife but since you don't know her, you couldn't know that. Understandable. She wrote from the woman's perspective, she can do that. She can write anything she wants. She is not obligated to do otherwise or make inclusions about men or talk about every single aspect about abuse (including looking at the woman's own part in it, if she has one) if she doesn't want to.

Then maybe she'd have to include male on male abuse or women on women abuse and before she knows it, she has a thesis to write.

Instead of complaining about it (because the article will not be changed and your Ask is not medically related so there is no point in complaining back again ) why don't you write a Share from your own perspective? Share what you know? If the writer missed opportunities to show the other side, feel free to take those opportunities because you are right, we need to hear from all sides.

You can educate us. We welcome all perspectives. This is why we offer the Share category. So that everyone has a voice.

This article in question is not the only one we have about abuse. You can read mine here, written last year. It most definitely include husband/partner-abuse


We look forward to hearing your story.


June 10, 2016 - 12:26pm
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