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Ashamed :/

By April 3, 2013 - 11:03am
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I'm about 6 weeks pregnant. My LMP was 2-19-2013. Bad part: my current boyfriend and I had broke up for about 2 wks. I had protected sex with an old friend using condom and pull out method twice on 2-25, like 3-4 am, he inspected the condom and as far as he could tell nothing was wrong. I'm not even sure he went off the second time but I took it off and it seemed fine. My bf and I then got back together soon after that. We had unprotected sex 3-6 and 3-8. I tested 20-22 after the incident with my friend and it was negative. I didn't have any s/s, I just wanted to check to make sure. I took a test 3-22 because of some kidney pain and it was positive. I'm 95% sure the unprotected sex is what caused it as I have irregular periods and I believe I'm a late ovulator, but would like some feedback! Please, I already know I'm scum bc my bf is ecstatic and he doesn't knkw. I am getting a DNA test, he just thinks I'm doing it incase we ever break up for court reasons.

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Don't be so harsh on yourself. The DNA test isn't a bad idea. Better to know for sure than take chances.

April 3, 2013 - 6:31pm

Thank you, I've been warring with myself over this and am scared to lose him. His dad had mentioned the DNA test to him since we had been broke up but he blew it off. The other guy keeps telling me not to say anything because he knows how my bf is and it'll end up in a fight because he's not just going to accept "it was just some guy". He's going to want a name. I got my appointment moved up to 4-22 and am hoping my ob can shed some light on my conception date. I know he can't pinpoint exact, but I would feel a lot better if I just knew there wasn't a possibility this night could ruin my life. Either one of these guys would make a great daddy, but I love my bf and there waan't any doubt in my mind it was his until he said his dad mentioned a DNA test.

April 3, 2013 - 5:32pm
HERWriter Guide

Hi Katie

Nobody here is going to call you scum - that's not how we operate here on EmpowHER. 

But honesty might be the best policy. Doing a DNA test is clearly because you slept with two men very close apart. I would suggest your boyfriend probably knows this. Generally, no-one would be 6 weeks pregnant and getting a DNA test "in case of a breakup" - the only reason that test is needed is when there is a possibility of more than one man being the father.

If you were fully protected with your friend, then the likelihood of him being the father is extremely low.

You may have been better off saying nothing and doing the test quietly.

But now that you have told your boyfriend, don't play him for a fool - tell him the truth. He'll figure it out eventually (especially since you had a short breakup) or someone will  explain it to him the way I did above. And then your lack of honesty will be apparent.

You were broken up, you made a mistake but you were protected and this other friend is not the father. Since you have said the half-truth already, it's better to tell the whole truth. At least that's the opinion I have. Perhaps others would say differently. If you're going to be honest, be totally honest. Don't go half way and then retract. If any man I knew told me this story, I'd immediately let him know there is another man involved.There would have to be - otherwise DNA testing would be totally unnecessary!

It's a tough situation for you but you need to decide pretty quickly. Let us know how it goes and have a healthy pregnancy!



April 3, 2013 - 12:40pm
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