Best friend and ex boyfriend!

By Anonymous August 29, 2012 - 4:36am

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Okay,
I was in a relationship for 2 years with a boy, say A.
I broke up with him because I didn't feel that way about him anymore and we were fighting a lot!
He was heartbroken because he did not see the break up coming.
Last I knew, he was not over me.
I told him I'll help him with it and everything!
My best girl friend, say B has been in a relationship with her bf for 4 years now! They have been having problems lately and they have been fighting a lot! But they are together as of now.

Recently my best friend(B) told me that she has feelings for my ex bf(A)!
She told me that she likes having him around and how he takes care of her. She told me that he'll call her anytime and remind her of the things that have to be brought to school the next day, how he arrives at her place anytime!
And how they spend time!
She also told me that she thinks he feels that way about her too.
It was only after that, that I started noticing them both behave like that!
I dont think though that he likes her like that, but there definitely is something!
I realised that I was insecure, I dont know about what!
I mean, I wanted him to get over me because I had caused him so much pain but seeing him move on with my best friend who happens to have a bf!?
ITS WEIRD!
I cant say somethng against it because then I will be the jealous ex gf; and I cant say something in its favour because then B has a bf and well, it would be weird to be okay with it! And I am NOT!

There is this another feeling of helplessness where I feel that I had my chance and I have no right over him now!
We were close even after the breakup, but now its different!
How can I ask him about it when its not my place?
And there is nothing I can say to my best friend! She'll think that I am not ready to let go, that I want A to be stuck on me!
Trust me I dont!
But A getting close with B is not acceptable to me. I know I cannot be judgemental about either of them, after what I have done, but I just cant let THIS go! It is so weird being in their presence, seeing her talk to him all cutely.
Out of all the boys in the world, why my ex? And that too she is more of my SISTER!
Its weird. Period.

HELP!
I AM FREAKING OUT!

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Rosa Cabrera RN

Dear Anon,

Certain lines are meant to never be crossed-- dating your best friends ex boyfriend is one of them. This has nothing to do with you being a jealous ex-girl friend. They both need to realize how awkward this will make your friendships to each other and your best friend above all should care more about your friendship than about how some guy reminds her to bring stuff to school. Your feelings of "jealousy" right now are not because you care about him as a boyfriend, but because you recently broke up with this guy and now not only is he moving on, but its with your best friend. Don't fall into the trap and think that you may still have feelings for him-- move on.

If after speaking to both of them and they continue to see each other, then the choice of remaining friends with both of them is entirely up to you.

Good luck,

Rosa

August 29, 2012 - 5:19am