Facebook Pixel

Boyfriend has trouble staying hard during intercourse

By June 4, 2011 - 10:35pm
Rate This

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 7 months. We are in a very loving relationship and get along very well. Sexually we are very compatible, but recently we have had this problem where he loses his erection during intercourse. Sometimes it takes a long time, but this has been going on for about a month and a half. We do not have problems with other forms of intimacy such as oral sex (which is still very good; I have always been able to work his erection right back up after it's gone), but I am concerned we might be too focused on getting the job done to where it impacts his ability to stay hard. I'm looking for honest advice on how to help up both relax and figure out what's going on.

Add a Comment3 Comments

HERWriter Guide

Hi Astridhaze

Thanks for your question, it's a very common one here on EmpowHER.

If you think it's stress-related you both need to do two things: communicate about what the stress factors are - and work to change them. Have you talked with him in this way? Also - be very careful to use your words wisely and compassionately (as I'm sure you will!) as this is a very sensitive subject to men.

In the meantime, check out a very similar thread with great advice attached: http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/my-boyfriend-and-i-have-been-having-sex-over-year-recently-he-has-had-trouble-getting-

Keep us posted!

June 5, 2011 - 11:19am
(reply to Susan Cody)

Thank you for the link- it was really helpful to hear some other perspectives on the issue. We've talked about this a little, and I do think my boyfriend has job-related stress and recent performance anxiety which has caused some issues. I will talk with him about this next time I see him (so long as he's ready to have this discussion) to see what we need to change in order to alleviate the stress of the situation.

June 5, 2011 - 5:57pm

I want to add that I think this is completely stress-related. He and I have talked about not having intercourse for awhile and just "fooling around" to see if it helps lighten things up a bit.

June 4, 2011 - 11:10pm
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!