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Boyfriend is having extreme trouble lasting during sex

By December 2, 2009 - 9:57am
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Well, my boyfriend and I recently started having sex. He is in in late 20's and was a virgin. We have only had sex a few times over the past month because he is not able to control his ejaculation. About 10-15 seconds is all he can last right now. I understand that because he is new to sex he may just be nervous.How do I get him to feel more comfortable so that he won't pass up sex? He has said that he does want to have intercourse but is too embarrassed or ashamed of his performance.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Nicki

Thanks for your question!

You have to be pretty careful here, in terms of mentioning this to your boyfriend. He is obviously very sensitive about it and naturally so. Time and practice will help tremendously, and since he has only had sex a few times in his life, give him lots of time and plenty of practice without mentioning a thing about his fast ejaculations. Many men find their first few months of sexual activity are "short and sweet" but by their 20s they're in a better place. Since he's new to this in his late 20s, he's just a little later than a lot of his peers.

And again, time will help him be less nervous about things. Tell him that it doesn't matter if he's too fast (even if it's not true, it's ok to say it for now) and encourage him to give it another try.

Another idea is to make sure he wears a condom every time. Not only is this a safe practice but condoms help to slow a man down. Is he wearing one every time?

Avoid positions that men find really exciting (and all men are different so you can figure out his own personal preference that out in time) so this can help too.

I know this can be frustrating for you at the moment but unless he has an issue with premature ejaculation (and we don't know that for now) consider it the jitters of a rookie and in no time (and with practice and compliments) he'll learn to slow down.

Give him another couple of months and see where you are at that point and he'll love you even more for your patience! Will you update us?

December 2, 2009 - 2:10pm
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